Page 50 of Intersect
With his words, my heart is hollowed out, empty. “At some point?” I ask. “That could be…that could be more than two weeks fromnow.”
“I know,” hesays.
He sounds tortured by it. And I’m tortured by it. This might be all the time I have and he’s the way I want to spend it. Him and only him. “Come home,” I beg. “This isn’t worth it.Please.”
“Don’t do that to me,” he whispers. “You know I have to stay. I have to see what she knows and what she wants. It’s the only way I can think of to help you and I won’t be able to live with myself if Idon’t.”
“And what happens when you find her?” I ask desperately, pacing the room. “She’s more likely to kill you than she is to sit down and have a nice heart-to-heart.”
He pauses. “Actually, Cecelia suggested that killingherwould solveeverything.”
A startled laugh escapes my throat. “Killingher? Holy shit, Parisian palm readers are dark.” He’s silent in response. “Why are you not laughing? It’s obviously a completely insane thing tosay.”
“Quinn,” he says reluctantly, “it’s…something to think about. Remember what Rose told us? That stealing someone’s spark can strengthen yours? Well, maybe if you steal Sarah’s it will cure thisthing.”
My mouth falls open. I can’t believe Nick, of all people, is in favor of this. “Your career is dedicated to saving lives. You cannot actually be suggesting I kill a woman in cold blood on theoff chanceit might allow me tolive?”
“She tried to kill you first,remember?”
“Nick,” I breathe. “I…I don’t even know what to say. We have no idea if she was actually trying to kill me and I just…no. I can’t kill anyone. I’d never be able to live with theguilt.”
“I could live with it,” hegrowls.
It’s easy to say when you haven’t done it yet. I have though. I wake each morning sick about what I might have done to Ryan, and it wasn’t even this version of me who’s responsible. “No,” I tell him. “I won’t let you do that for me, if it would work anyway, and itwouldn’t.”
“I’m just saying it’s something to thinkabout.”
I can’t. I won’t. If my desperation to stay alive is going to turn me into a monster, I don’t deserve to live in the firstplace.
* * *
I wake earlythe next morning and come downstairs with my bag packed. My mother is already up, sitting pale and bleary-eyed, both palms pressed to a cup ofcoffee.
Her eyes go to my bag and her face falls. “You’re leavingalready?”
We haven’t always gotten along, especially of late, but I hate that I’m disappointing her. “There’s a doctor in New Jersey I need to talk to. Are you okay?” Iask.
“I was thinking we could spend the day together,” she says quietly. Her palms press harder to the coffee cup. They are nearly bloodless. “We could go to Philadelphia and get lunch, go to the Barnes Foundation. You always loved that when you werelittle.”
“I have this appointment, Mom, or Iwould.”
She nods but I swear to God it looks like she’s about to cry, and I think it has nothing to do with mytumor.
* * *
I arriveat Dr. Grosbaum’s house just before lunch. I’ve decided to keep the trip from Nick since he’d worry unnecessarily, and if it’s okay for him to break into the home of a potential murderer with supernatural powers and not mention it until afterward, I can probably visit a neurologist with some offbeat ideas and not mention iteither.
The sight of his house no longer scares me. It just makes me sad. How long has he been waiting for his wife to return? Will he die alone, stillwaiting?
He steps back in silence as I walk through thedoor.
“I owe you an apology,” I begin, as I follow him to his office, but he waves my wordsaway.
“Several universities thought the same things you did and were far ruder in their dismissal,” he replies. “I’m accustomed to it. But I’m curious to hear about this time traveler youmet.”
We both take the seats we took a few weeks ago. My heart lurches a little at the emptiness of the chair beside me. Nick should be here. He should never haveleft.
“She was young,” I reply. “Barely even a teenager. I saw her once in my head when I’d blacked out, and she insisted I hadn’t blacked out at all, that we’d just passed each other timetraveling.”