Page 65 of Intersect
And even if I’m not powerful, at the very least I am now brave enough to tell him the truth. Another gift from my mother. She forced me to tell Nick what I did to Ryan so I’d finally understand that he will forgive me. It might take a while, but he will. “We need to talk,” I say, swallowing, “about why I stopped jumping in the firstplace.”
He raises a brow. “Stopped?”
I nod. “The first time we were together, in high school? Something happened. It’s been coming together bit by bit over the past fewweeks.”
He squeezes my hand. There is such blind, absolute faith in his expression, and I really pray I don’t lose it once he knows everything. “I’m the reason your brotherdied.”
He goes absolutely still. “My brother died in a caraccident.”
“We were all at a party,” I say. I can no longer meet his eye. “You went to get the car and I walked out of the bathroom into this dark room and he kissed me. I only realized he wasn’t you just as you walked into the room and caught us. I never would have gone along with it if I’d realized. But I was drunk and in the darkness…he was your height, he had your voice. I had noclue.”
“How far—” he begins. He sounds gutted. “How far did itgo?”
I haven’t even gotten to the bad part and he’s already destroyed. “Not very. It was just kissing and when he tried to…when he tried to do more I knew it wasn’t you. You were never aggressive likethat.”
His jaw ticks at the corner. “And then whathappened?”
I tell him the rest. How the two of them got into a fistfight unlike anything I’d ever seen before, both big enough to do damage and so evenly matched that neither would back down. I tell him how I panicked, watching it, until it occurred to me I could fixit.
When I conclude, his body is rigid, his tone neutral only by force. “I don’t see how that makes you responsible for Ryan’sdeath.”
“If we’d been there, he wouldn’t have gotten in Tyler’s truck. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I just couldn’t,” I admit. “I was too scared you’d hate meafterward.”
I see emotion filter through his expression at long last. A flash of surprise. “You really thought I’dblameyou?” heasks.
“Who else could you possibly blame? I’m the reason we weren’t at that party to give Ryan a ridehome.”
“I blameRyan,” he says angrily. I jolt a little at his tone and he tugs my hand into his. “I’m sorry. I’m pissed off right now but not with you. I’ve spent over a decade thinking I should have gone to that party, but it wouldn’t have made a difference, would it? He was still getting in Tyler’s truck no matter what Idid.”
“But—”
“No. Ryan did a shitty thing. You can’t tell me he didn’t know he was tricking you, grabbing you in a dark room like that, and I’d kick his ass for it all over again if he was here now. What this tells me is he was going to ride with Tyler no matterwhat.”
I look at him with wide eyes. Maybe I should just accept his forgiveness and move on, but I don’t think he really gets it. “If I hadn’t tried to change things, he might have come home withus.”
He laughs, but the sound is harsh and unhappy. “Are you kidding me? Do you actuallyremembermy brother, Quinn? He was stubborn, and he hated to lose. If we were fighting over you, I guarantee there’s no way he’d ride home with the two of us from that party. And maybe he’d still have gone with Tyler and maybe he wouldn’t have, but my guess is that nothing you did changed anything forRyan.”
I shake my head. “You’re taking this way better than Iexpected.”
He pulls my hands into his lap, holding them between his. “I’ve been sick with guilt about his death for over a decade. And now you’ve just given me the original story, and it’s one in which I am not the villain, and you aren’t either. But Quinn, even if you had been at fault, there’s nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you. I just wish you’d known that when ithappened.”
I realize, suddenly, that he can’t remember what I said to him in the basement. He’s said he loves me so many times now, and here he is still patiently waiting for me to come around. “I love you,” I whisper. “I should have said it a long timeago.”
His palms slide to either side of my face, and his lips brush mine. Our foreheads rest against each other’s, noses touching. “I knew,” he says with a small grin. “But I’m glad you figured it out too. It would be awkward to propose to a girl who can’t even admit she likesyou.”
I pull back. “Propose?”
He bites down on his lip to keep from laughing. “Have you forgotten we’re having twinsalready?”
I guess I should have known this would come. He’s the kind of guy who steps up, always. But this isn’t like our other lives, when we’d been together a while before it happened, and he shouldn’t have to marry a semi-stranger until he’s actually ready for marriage. “You don’t have to do that,” I tell him. “It’s still really early and I’m just not that old-fashioned.”
He laughs and pulls me into his lap. “Do you honestly think I’m asking out of obligation? I’ve been planning this since the night I drove to your mom’shouse.”
I smile, warmth spreading through my chest, and press my mouth to the corner of his jaw. “Okay, but you are not allowed to propose to me in a hospitalroom.”
There’s a sharp tap on the door, and the attending walks in. His eyebrows raise for a moment at the sight of us, me in Nick’s lap, our mouths a hair’s breadth apart. But we’re in the city of love, after all. I figured they’dexpectit here. I sheepishly rise and take myseat.
“Bonjour,”he says. “You’re American,yes?”