Page 75 of Sweet Wicked Vows
“Dinner was good,” he said. “The Junipers are good people. They care about you. I can see why you enjoy being in their company.”
I smiled. “They are my second family. They’ve done so much for me over the years. I know they can be a little much for some people.”
“Truthfully, I enjoy being here. It’s been a long time since I spent the holidays doing anything other than working.”
“I’m sure you would have much rather spent the day at work than throwing pumpkins with a makeshift slingshot.” I chuckled. “Or better yet, you probably would have preferred being with your own family?”
“You’re my wife, aren’t you? You asked me to come, so I came.”
My body went rigid. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend like our marriage actually means something to you. It’s not fair.”
I heard his jaw click.
“We said we’d try and at least be friends during our year together. And I am your friend. But you’ve said time and time again that this marriage is strictly business. Then in the same breath, you’re all over me and I think something’s changed. And before I know it, you are back to looking at me as if I am your enemy again.”
He remained silent.
“So, please don’t say things you don’t mean. Don’t tell me that I’m yours when, in nine months’ time, you will walk away. Don’t act like I mean anything other than business to you when we both know you see me as nothing else.”
“What if I do mean what I say?”
My heart stuttered. “Do you?” A beat of silence. “Because if something has changed, if this isn’t business anymore for you, Jaxon, I deserve to know.”
“What difference does it make?” he sighed. “Like you said, in nine months, this is over. We both walk away with what we want.”
He may as well have slapped me across the face.
“Is that what you still want?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”
I was so damn stupid for thinking anything was changing between us.
I should never have invited him to Thanksgiving. Having him here, amongst people I loved most in the world, seeing him interact with them—it was messing with my head. Reshaping the reality of what we truly were.
“It matters to me.”
“You have to understand,” Jaxon exhaled. “Wanting you complicates things far more than you will ever know. But the mere thought of anyone else touching you, wanting you, having you—it makes me sick.”
I tried to process what he was saying.
He wanted me.
He didn’t want to want me.
I didn’t think about it as I sat up and pulled the thin pajama top over my head.
My nipples drew taunt as he inhaled sharply. “You want me.”
“Yes.”
The pajama trousers joined its pairing top, baring me completely to him. “Then what’s stopping you?”
A beat of strained silence was all it took for his final threads of restraint to snap. “Fuck it.”