Page 39 of Shadow of Death

“No.”

Do you still feel that place of darkness inside?

“No.”

Are you sure? Try to feel it. Concentrate.

She was right. Ithadto still be in me. Death had said she couldn’t remove it. It was part of me. I’d been infuriated when she told me that, yet it might be my only chance of getting out of here.

I did as Widow Herbert had said. “I think it might be there, but I can only feel it the slightest bit.”

Then you still have power within you. You just need to figure out how to control it. You need to use that.

“But how?”

That, I can’t say, but you’re not powerless. Thereisa way.Close your eyes and try to focus on it. You’re strong. You will survive this.

It was getting hard to know how many hours had passed as I sat in the dark, no food or water. It could’ve been ten hours or fifteen. Adrenaline was keeping me awake, but I was dying for a sip of water. I wish I’d eaten some more of my breakfast before I killed Kicks’ father. I’d even take some jerky at this point. Only benefit was that I didn’t need to use the bucket in the corner.

Would Death keep me alive if they tried to kill me via dehydration and starvation? Varic wasn’t likely to kill me until he got some answers, so they’d probably give mesomething. It might get uncomfortable, though, and I’d better prepare myself.

I had nothing to do but think, and only the worst thoughts were coming to mind.

I replayed my goodbye with Charlie and then forced it from my mind, refusing to cry. Even if Kicks wanted to kill me himself, he’d protect Charlie. He’d view him as innocent. So would Rastin, Buddie, and Evangeline. They were good people, even if they wouldn’t think the same of me soon. They wouldn’t hurt him.

Was Kicks awake yet? Was he somewhere above, talking about how evil I was? Had he told them what I was? If he had, Varic would know, and he hadn’t come back. Maybe they were debating what to do with me?

Kicks’ footsteps sounded in the distance. Death might’ve stolen some of my killing abilities, but she hadn’t taken my improved senses away. It might’ve been an oversight, but I wouldn’t remind her of it next time she deigned to appear.

He opened the door and paused for a second as we took each other in. His face was so shadowed in this darkness that it was impossible to see if he was glaring. He seemed healthy, though,and some of the rigidity in my spine I hadn’t known I was holding eased.

I dropped my forehead to my knees, not saying anything, feeling like a coward for having a hard time even looking at him.

I wouldn’t attempt to defend my actions. I’d done it for him, but it didn’t matter. I’d killed his father. It would be easier if he just screamed at me and then left. If I spoke, I might break down.

He walked closer and then knelt in front of me, pulled a flask out of his shirt, uncapped it, and brought it to my lips. I chugged back what tasted like some kind of broth, staring at him. He didn’t hate me?

I couldn’t see his face well, but he leaned close, whispering so softly I could barely hear, “I’ll be back.”

He got to his feet, and I didn’t have the courage to ask anything as he left. I didn’t know if he hated me, but did hepityme?

He walked out, shutting the door.

“No one is allowed in here but me,” he said outside the cell.

“But Varic—”

“Can go fuck himself. She’s still my mate. No one in or out.”

His steps faded, and the tears I couldn’t hold back anymore started to flow.

Chapter Eighteen

I was walkingthrough a forest at night, the wolf keeping pace with me twenty or so feet away.

I stopped walking and so did it. When I began again, so did it. I stopped, turning to look at it.

“What if I wanted you to go away. Would you?”