Page 61 of Shadow of Death

I repeated what Death said, sick to my stomach at what I had to discuss. I wasn’t the only one looking a little green around the gills. Varic lost all the color in his face.

“Where did you hear such a lie?” he asked, but his tone was soft and he leaned away from the desk

“You don’t want to admit it, that’s fine.Thatpart I can at least understand. But let’s not keep going. I’m sure whatever she tells me next won’t be any easier to stomach,” I said.

It won’t,Death agreed.

“You want out of here? Then I want to know what you can do. I want your power,” Varic said.

“I can’t give it to you. That’s not how it works.” This guy wasn’t just a psychopath but an idiot. I couldn’t even get it back, let alone give it to him.

“Tell Death to give it to me.”

No,she said, her face scrunched in disgust. It was the only human expression she’d ever nailed.

“I can’t give it to you, and she won’t.” This was one line I was grateful I couldn’t cross. To give an animal like this theabilities I had? Who would be left? Was this what their father had been like? These same murderous tendencies? The picture was becoming clearer every day, and all I wanted was away from this cesspool.

“You want them to live, you’ll figure it out,” he said.

“It’s not my choice,” I said, glad that I had an out. “I can’t do anything that Death won’t allow.” That wasn’t altogether a sure thing, but it worked for the moment.

I glared at Death, wondering why of all the people she was intent on killing, she’d left this one alone.

He wasn’t part of it, and I’m on the fence with him.I might be able to use him for something,she said, guessing my thoughts. She couldn’t read them, at least not with regularity, or I’d already be screwed.

“I want your abilities. If you can’t give them to me, then I want to use them through you.”

“Again, not my call,” I said.

We stared at each other, both knowing we were at an impasse, neither of us comfortable pushing any harder.

“You can go. I’ll let you know when I need you,” he said.

I took it for what it was: a call for a stalemate.

I climbed the stairs up to the rooftop to find Aunt Elara leaning by the railing. She jerked quickly in my direction. The tension in her frame eased as soon as she spotted me.

“I was hoping you’d come up here,” she said as I made my way over to her.

I hadn’t wanted company, but I couldn’t very well run away now that she’d seen me. Of all people to get stuck with, though, she was the most bearable.

I leaned on the half wall, looking out at the ocean. “Just needed some air.”

“I saw them calling you. I know how Varic can be.” She put a hand on my arm.

“It was fine,” I said, refusing to let anyone know how much I hated this place. Plus, it wasn’t just Varic. He was only one broken spoke on this screwed-up wheel. It was juggling him, and along with Death and now Charon, that was bringing me to my breaking point.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, saw her face etched with lines that weren’t just from age.

“Why do you stay here?” I asked. I’d already come clean with Varic. There was nothing left to fear as far as secrets, and I wasn’t sure I cared either way at the moment. “We’re going to leave here. I don’t know how yet, but I’m getting us out of here. You can come if you want.”

She shook her head, looking out at sea. “I can’t leave these people.”

“You stay here, he’s going to get worse and worse.” She had to know that, though. I couldn’t imagine it had been much better under their father.

She shrugged, looking like someone who was used to walking around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. “I know who Varic is, but this place is my home, and these are my people. I can’t leave them if there is any good I can do.”

“I don’t want to hurt you by saying this, but what helpcanyou give them?” I wanted to shake the woman until her teeth rattled.