Page 70 of Shadow of Death

He didn’t speak as he walked over to me.

This was bad. I’d hoped to talk to him. Explain things. “I—”

“We either fuck or I kill him. Your choice.”

He was strung so tight that every muscle on his torso looked like it was flexed. His fists were clenched and his breathing seemed staggered, as if holding on to control took everything he had.

I nodded, slipping out of my jacket. That was all the answer he needed, as he shredded my shirt and then made quick work of the rest of my clothing. He lifted me, his mouth covering mine, his rawness undoing me. I thrust my hands in his hair as my need grew as desperate as his.

He walked us into the shower, turning us under the water. He gripped my ass, raising me and then lowering me onto his thick, hard dick, just barely entering me. I could already feel myself stretching around him as he shifted me lower, one slow inch at a time, until he was fully seated inside. His arms were tensedaround me, giving me a chance to adjust when all I wanted was him to move before I lost my mind.

“More,” I said, my voice ragged as I clung to his shoulders.

My back hit the cold, tiled wall and he braced me as he withdrew, then pumped back in with one hard thrust, filling me completely until we were like savages. This was more than sex—it was a claiming, each thrust obliterating Varic from my memory.

An intense orgasm ripped through, shattering me. An almost inhuman groan came from Kicks as he pulled his cock out of me.

I clung to him, my legs too weak to stand as the water rained down on us. I held on to him, not wanting to ever let go.

My hair was still dripping wet as I lay almost on top of him in the bed a while later.

“I’ve seen some of the other women around here looking at you,” I said.

He tensed. “And?”

He wasn’t going to like this, but it didn’t matter. It had to be done. “I think it might be a good idea for there to be an appearance of distance between us.”

“Is that what you were doing today? Giving the appearance of distance to Varic? Is that why I could smell him all over you?”

I didn’t say anything immediately. I didn’t knowwhatto say. There was no good way to explain what had happened today.

“I’m not betraying you, no matter how it might look. All I’m trying to do is get us the hell out of here. If I’m guilty of anything, it’s being desperate to do that,” I said.

“When he was close to you, did you even try to kill him?”

I froze for a second. I should’ve expected that question, been prepared for it. “It wasn’t a good time. He had men around. I didn’t think it was the best moment.”

He let out a low sigh, tightening his arms around me. “I really wish you’d tried,” he said, his voice so steeped in disappointment that it was as if he knew how much of an opportunity I’d had.

“It wasn’t the right time,” I said. And it wouldn’t be until Kicks was beside me and we were walking out of here together.

“Pips, people die. It happens. I can accept my death. I don’t need you to protect me.”

I didn’t say a word even as my mind went right back to those dark moments in the pit, when he’d lain dying in my arms. What about then? He hadn’t been able to care for himself then, but I wouldn’t hurt him more by saying it. It didn’t matter if I said it or not. He knew exactly what I was thinking.

“What if I can’t accept it? What about that?” I’d meant to sound tough but my voice cracked.

“I get it, Pips. We all have to do what we feel is right, no matter how much it hurts.”

Those words wouldn’t stop echoing in my mind as I lay there.

Chapter Thirty

Kicks was stillin the room when I woke. Usually he said goodbye before dawn and I didn’t get a chance to really see him until later.

“You’re still here?” I asked, smiling as I sat up in bed.

“I had other matters to handle today.” His tone was chillier than the breeze off the ocean in winter.