Page 13 of The Defenseman

7

Alexa

Alexa wasn't expecting Eric to show back up at her door later that day, but just after she finished microwaving herself some leftover spaghetti, she heard a now-familiar knock on the door. She hesitated before opening it. The last time she did, he kissed her unexpectedly, taking her breath away and making her feel things she definitely didn't want to feel. She sucked in a deep breath and lectured herself about being a coward before forcing herself to open the door. She stepped back once the door was open and prepared herself for…

She wasn't quite sure.

She released a breath and looked at Eric.

"I thought," he said slowly, one hand cupping the back of his neck, as though he, too, was slightly uncomfortable being here so soon after he had left. "I thought maybe we could start the next lesson."

Alexa felt her mouth dry at the thought of what the next lesson might be. They had already kissed pretty thoroughly. From here, it would be things she hadn't actually done before. She felt her heart skip at the thought and she forced herself to try and remain as steady as possible. Such a task was impossible, however. In fact, she couldn't even get her voice to work so she had to nod her acquiescence.

She took a step back and he walked through. He seemed like he was headed for the couch but stopped and turned, as though he was just as nervous as she was.

But how could someone as experienced as Eric be nervous? He had done this plenty of times before. He knew exactly what to expect. In fact, Alexa figured he would be desensitized to what they were doing together. It shouldn't really matter at the end of the day, because it wasn't as though she was a girlfriend or someone who meant anything to him. She was just his friend's little sister asking him for a favor.

At that moment, the microwave beeped, letting her know her spaghetti had been sitting there for at least a minute.

"Uh, did you want something to eat or drink?" Alexa said. She'd suddenly lost her appetite but was going to pop open the microwave so it would stop beeping at her. She made her way to the kitchen and took out her spaghetti, sitting it on the counter before turning back to Eric.

Eric wiped his hands on his thighs as he took a seat on the edge of the couch.

"I'm fine," he said. "If you need something…"

"I'm good," Alexa said. She stepped back into the living room but kept her distance from Eric.

Something had changed between them. Something that most definitely had to do with the kisses they shared. She had experienced more than she realized and as she went back over it again and again, it was hard for her to express what she felt. Eric must have felt something strange too, simply due to how he was behaving himself.

"What's this one about?" Alexa dared to ask.

Eric tensed. She could see it in the way his shoulders stiffened and the way his jaw popped. Had she asked the wrong question? Were the lessons supposed to be some sort of surprise?

"Pleasure," Eric said. His voice was tight but his eyes were that dark blue again. Her body shuddered and she was struck by the fact that her body reacted to a change in eye color—but only with Eric. How strange that something so innocuous could have so much power over her. She did not understand it. Perhaps that was why it was so important that she learn all of this. Because sex and everything that went into it was not something she understood, and she wanted to.

Her mouth went dry. She couldn't respond. Instead, she tried to swallow but her throat was scratchy and it was difficult to do so.

She nodded her head, her food forgotten, and headed back to the living room. However, she made sure to keep a safe distance between herself and Eric. She didn't want to get too close—afraid he was going to suck her into his vortex with no hope of being saved.

"Okay," she forced herself to say.

"Does that scare you?" His voice smoothed out, his eyes locking on to her like a target. It was almost as though he had regained some of his notorious confidence.

"N-no." Her voice gave her away.

She felt like such a fool. So inexperienced. A child.

She looked away, her face turning hot.

His lips curled into a smirk and he patted the couch next to him. Alexa's eyes shot to him and her heart skipped a beat. She needed to take a breath and get a grip on herself or else she was going to make herself appear even more immature than she was already being.

"You lie." He patted the place next to him once more, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline as if to tell her he wasn't planning on asking her again. "Why? You should admit when you're scared."

"It's not a turnoff?" More than anything, Alexa wanted to stay where it was safe, in between the two walls that formed the entrance to the kitchen, but she forced herself to move to the couch. Each step felt weighted, like she was slogging through cement.

"A turnoff?" he asked, genuinely confused by her question. "Nothing you could do could ever be a turnoff."

Alexa furrowed her brow, her fear temporarily forgotten. How was that possible when Tim seemed to think everything was wrong with her, to the point he broke up with her because of everything she couldn't give him?