Page 94 of Worth Every Game
“I thought it said I love you.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, that too.” He reaches one hand towards me and I thread my fingers through his large, warm ones. He squeezes my hand. “Are we okay?”
I make him wait for it, just a little while. “Yeah. Your mum is a bitch, though.”
He glances at me. “You know I’m not her, right?”
A strange darkness settles in me. “I do, but a mother’s influence is like a virus. It can linger, dormant, for a really longtime until something triggers it. We think we’re all free and independent, but we’re not.”
Jack shudders. “Sounds horrific.” He’s quiet for a moment. “What did your mother say, then? What did she infect you with? What’s gonna spring out at me when I’m not expecting it?”
I snort. “You don’t want to know.”
“I do, actually. I want to know everything about you.”
I roll my bottom lip through my teeth, pinching it until it hurts. “It’s more what she didn’t say. She’s not vocal like your mum. She’s quietly disapproving. Both my parents are. The silent treatment was a big punishment at home.” I let out a sigh. “They’re both straight-laced corporate lawyers.”
Jack scratches his forehead. “Oh, yeah. There was that big case last year—”
“There’s always a case. It’s their whole life. When I refused to go to law school, they stopped my allowance. Said if I wanted to pursue music that much, then the music should be able to pay my way. And if it couldn’t, then…”
“Then what?”
“Then I’ll be exactly what they think I am. An embarrassment. A failure.”
“They said that?”
“No. But I know they think it, and it’s really hard not to believe it’s true when it’s what your parents think about you.” I sigh, and Jack’s worried gaze darts from the windscreen to me, and he gives me a small smile as if to say, ‘it’s okay. I’m here for you now’. “We don’t really talk much anymore. Mum always wanted me to be more like Kate.”
“Kate, my sister?”
“Yeah. She’s Mum’s ideal daughter. Ambitious, hard-working, corporate. Earns a fortune. Gorgeous. Wears respectable clothes. Kate wouldn’t be seen dead in cowboy boots, unless itwas fancy dress, maybe. And she has straight hair and no facial piercings.”
Jack huffs as though this is ridiculous. “Well, I’m glad you’re nothing like Kate, because this situation”—he waves a hand between us—“would be a fucked-up Freudian shitfest.” I laugh. “You’re perfect, just as you are. Uniquely you. Unbelievably talented, and if your parents can’t see that, then that’s on them.”
Warmth spreads through my upper body, burning fiercely around my heart.I think I love him. No one has ever supported my career the way Jack has. But there’s still something I need to know before I can completely relax with him again. “Did you hook up with me because I was the ‘nearest and easiest’ woman?”
He grunts dismissively. “No. I hooked up with you because I wanted to. A lot. A hell of a lot, actually.” He pauses, and I wait, barely breathing. “You weren’t the easiest, anyway. Lydia was right there offering herself to me in underwear and a trench coat.”
True.
He sighs and taps the steering wheel with his index finger. “Look, El. I’ve been with a lot of women. That’s no secret, but you… you’re something else.” The awe in his voice has butterflies springing to life in my stomach. “Watching you wander about my house, playing all our games, seeing you dress up and strut about… and getting to know you…all of it. I love it. I loveyou. I love how funny you are, and how you make me laugh. I haven’t laughed so much with anyone else, ever. I love being around you, and even if you didn’t want me, I’d still be here, waiting for you to notice me.” He glances over at me. “The sex, too. Can’t forget that. The feel of your skin”—he reaches over and strokes my thigh briefly—“the taste of your mouth. The taste ofyou.” He bites his bottom lip, his gaze dipping downwards, making heat flare between my legs. “All of it has been wonderful, and Ilove you so much…" A little line appears between his brows, and when he speaks again, there is the slightest tremor in his voice. “If this doesn't work out between us, it’s gonna really fucking hurt, so can we try not to let that happen?”
No one has ever said anything like this to me. My body aches from how much I want to tell him I feel exactly the same, but I can't. Not yet. It takes all my concentration to say, “We can definitely try.”
“Good. Because I’m not buying another one of these ridiculous cars, unless it’s one I can race on the track.” He winks. “And I’m not keen on this either.” He thumps his fist to his chest, almost the way a smoker might shift phlegm from their lungs. “It’s deeply uncomfortable, this love bollocks.”
A series of gasps pop off my tongue. “Lovebollocks? You are so romantic,” I say, sounding as sarcastic as I can manage.
He chuckles. “Hey. This is new for me. The worst I’ve had to endure in the past is heartburn.”
I gape at him. “Wait, no one broke your heart? All those women and you never cried?”
He snorts, as though this suggestion is completely ludicrous. “No.”
This feels surprising and yet not surprising all at once. “You didn’t love a single one of them?”
He pauses, his cheek distorting like he’s rubbing his tongue on his molars as he thinks. “No. It was all good fun, but no.”