Page 20 of Never Enough
I’ve loved Alexandru Whitmore in all his forms, both past and present. And sometimes, I miss who he used to be. The geeky boy with glasses and slightly oversized teeth, but with a heart so big that he didn’t know what to do with it. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why people are drawn to him because he’s hot and confident. But at least, back then, he was himself. Now, it feels like he’s just playing a role of himself.
So yeah, I miss Alex. I love him. But no matter how I look at it, it still hurts to see him loving someone else.
“Excuse me,” I mumble. I leave my empty glass on a nearby table and slip away, letting the pulsating rhythm of the music drown out the ache in my chest.
I just need to step away. The pain is almost suffocating, but I know I have to keep it together until I can find a private place to let it all out.
Unfortunately, I don’t do a good enough job at hiding because somehow, Celeste, Alex, and everyone else I’m trying to avoid spot me.
The air is thick with the musk of sweat and alcohol as I try to blend into the wallpaper while in line for the bathroom. Eden spots me first, with a man our age. Then, Celeste tugs Alex towards with Victoria in tow. Only, I realize Vic isn’t in tow but is instead trying to catch up to them. Victoria breezes through the throng of bodies, a flock of eager men in tow, their eyes scanning the room like predators seeking prey. They’re nothing but blurred faces to me, indistinct and unimportant.
Eden reaches me first, then Celeste and Alex, and Victoria last.
“Meet Celeste,” Victoria announces with an artificial brightness. Her dark hair sways around her face as she gestures towards Celeste who is clinging to Alex like a second skin. “Too bad she isn’t single.”
Odd. I don’t think she’s throwing her brother’s relationship in my face, but instead hinting at Celeste like,See? other men want you, too. As if she’s pushing Celeste to date other men.
“Why do I need anyone else when I have the best boyfriend?” Celeste purrs, her voice dripping with insinuation, fingers trailing possessively over Alex’s chest. The words are meant for the men,but her eyes lock onto mine, challenging and asserting dominance. “Alex can go all night, you know. He just can’t get enough of me.”
Victoria’s perfectly plucked eyebrows knit together in confusion, or disapproval, at Celeste’s crude bragging. “Chill,” she hisses, her usual façade slipping as she glances around at the now-attentive crowd.
“He loves my pussy. He tells me all the time,” Celeste slurs.
“Fuck, Celeste!” Alex says, only he doesn’t seem turned on. His brows lower, and he appears livid. “Knock it off.” Still, he doesn’t disprove Celeste, and everyone standing here knows that it’s true.
Celeste just laughs, and now I’m barely listening. My gaze inadvertently finds Alex’s. It doesn’t seem like a man basking in the glow of sexual conquest. I wish I could hate him, but all I feel is this hollow ache.
Sensing the tension, Eden grabs my hand. “Let’s dance!”
I allow myself to be pulled into the writhing mass of bodies, the thumping bass of the music vibrating through my bones. One man Victoria brings over—a tall figure with a predatory gleam in his eye—slips behind me. Then, his hands find my hips with practiced ease.
“Enjoying the party?” he yells over the booming music, his breath hot against my ear.
How long am I going to let this crush on Alex rule my life? Here I am at a party, the perfect opportunity to meet someone new, and I’m holding back because everything I’ve dreamed of starts and ends with him.
Unable to even pretend, I feign enthusiasm by lying to him. “Sure. Such a blast.” Tightening his grip, he pulls me closer. His body presses against mine, grinding rhythmically, and I force myself to move with him, trying to ignore the discomfort blooming in my stomach.
Eden dances next to me, her auburn hair fiery in the strobe lights. I envy her ability to surrender to the moment, but my own motions are stiff and robotic.
“Loosen up, beautiful,” the man murmurs, his hands sliding down to cup my backside, seemingly emboldened by my silence. I stiffen, but based on Eden’s laughter, she doesn’t notice as I struggle to maintain a semblance of composure.
Maybe they’re right and I should just let go, drown myself in oblivion with alcohol and the numbing touch of a stranger. But every cell in my body screams in protest.
Somewhere, beneath the noise and the lights, I wonder if this is all there is—chasing fleeting moments of happiness, pretending we’re not all just fragments of broken dreams.
The pulsating beats wash over me. My body moves mechanically to the rhythm, an automaton cloaked in skin and hazel eyes that catches glimpses of reality between strobes.
I’m dancing when a sudden chill prickles my spine, and I turn instinctively. Alex stands there, his lean frame rigid, brown eyes burning with an intensity that eclipses the room’s chaotic energy. His gaze locks onto the man behind me, and I feel the weight of his stare like a physical touch. It’s dark, almost dangerous, and it sets my nerves on edge. What’s he playing at?
My attention remains arrested by Alex’s silent battle across the room. His eyes follow every move as if the man’s touch scorches him personally. Why should he care?
“Look at you, so popular tonight,” the man teases, unaware of the silent exchange. His grip tightens, fingers digging into the flesh of my backside, and his lips brush my neck—a proprietary kiss that makes my skin crawl.
“Stop,” I say, my voice barely audible above the music. But he doesn’t hear me and neither does Alex.
Something shifts then, as if a string tethering Alex to this moment snaps. The light in his eyes dulls. With one last look, full of something I can’t quite place, he moves on.
I don’t want him to leave. I’d much rather he watches me forever, even if it means I can’t have him.