Page 57 of Never Enough
“Talk?” I question with a scoff, knowing full well the subtext woven into her invitation.
“Of course, silly. Talk. Like we used to.” Her pout is back, but this time, it works more than it did before. Because Celeste and I had good times together. There was a time when she was my best friend.
I relent. I suppose one more discussion about our friendship isn’t a bad thing. After all, we’ll be graduating soon and chances are Celeste will always be Victoria’s friend. I don’t want bad blood between us.
She must know that I’ve agreed to attend the after-party because her voice softens to a vulnerable edge. “Promise me something, Alex. Don’t bring a date. It’ll hurt too much.” The genuine pain in her eyes is real. It’s a feeling I’m quite intimate with.
I’ll give her that. She expects me to date another woman soon. I can give her another day.
“Sure,” I say, the statement settling like acid in my stomach because it means I can’t bring Daphne.
“Perfect.” She beams, her smile too bright for the occasion, but I dismiss it. “It’s settled, then.”
As she sashays to the bathroom door, leaving a trail of rose and deceit as she waits for me, I stare at my reflection. A stranger looks back, hollowed out, caught between loyalties and lies.
I won’t tell Daphne about the party. It’ll just upset her, and she deserves no more pain. Not from me.
Since Celeste waited for me outside of the bathroom, she’s at my side. Her arm brushes against mine, a calculated touch that burns through the fabric of my jersey. The buzzing crowd outside is none the wiser to the storm brewing within me.
“Alex!” The slap on my back is jarring, and I nearly stumble forward. It’s Tyler again, grinning like he’s just won the lottery, his assumption hanging heavy between us. “About time you two got back together. Did she suck you off?”
My jaw clenches, and for a moment, I’m silent. “N-n-n—”
I don’t get to finish trying to say no because Tyler presses on, “Come on, man! Details.”
I give up. Rather than try again, I leave. Every step feels heavier than the last. With each stride, I’m distancing myself from the lie, from Celeste’s rose perfume that clings to me like a shroud. I can feel her eyes on my back, burning with expectation, and Tyler’s laughter.
“Hey! Whitmore, where are you going? Don’t leave us hanging!” another teammate calls out, but I don’t bother with a response. What would I say? That I’m a fraud? That every laugh, every high-five, is a performance?
I need air and not the kind that’s housing this stifling blend of sweat, dirt, and duplicity.
My phone dings, reminding me of a text I received about an hour ago. I see it’s Daphne.
Lab Partner:
Wanna hang after the game? <3
“Damn it,” I whisper, my breath coming out in a frosty plume as I push through the doors and out into the crisp autumn night. The contrast between the cold outside and the heat of my shame is evident, biting at my skin.
“Should’ve told Celeste no,” I mutter to myself, but the words are meaningless. Because even though I said no to Celeste, I didn’t say it loud enough, didn’t push her away when her fingers traced the contours of my chest.
I can’t let Daphne go to that party. Rumors are already swirling that Celeste and I are getting back together. I can’t do that to Daphne.
One more night of pretending. This is my last football game, so this will also be my last party. I’ll celebrate with Daphne tomorrow.
Wanting to keep this last secret, I text her back.
Me:
Sorry, babe. Busy.
No, that’s not enough. What if she asks what I’ll be busy doing? When lying, you’re supposed to give more details, right? Or is it less details?
Ah, crap. My fingers are already typing and hitting send before I give it more thought.
Me:
Dad is home. Gotta see him.