Page 35 of Red Fire

“Really? Women are paid to marry multiple people and to have children?”

“Yes. There are those who have become wealthy.”

“O-okay, that’s weird.” She makes a face. “Getting married and having kids should not be about financial gain. You’re right; it’s all upside down right now.”

“It is how it works on Mistveil,” I say simply.

“What happened with this woman you were in love with?” Her eyes have darkened.

My jaw tightens as familiar emotions course through me. Anger, betrayal, sorrow, and loss. Then the biggest one of all, the one I carry with me daily…guilt. So much guilt, it stifles me. “Aspen knew my feelings about sharing. I wanted no part of it. I understand the need for polyamorous relationships, but it isn’t for me. It was supposed to be her and me. Our love was supposed to be enough. I was supposed to be enough, but it wasn’t the case.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Me, too. Maybe I didn’t go about things the right way. I started putting pressure on her for us to mate. I wanted so badly to make her mine so that we could be together forever. She kept pushing me away and making excuses. I went to her place one day, and he was there.” Rage courses through me. Three years later and I still feel everything just as strongly.

“Oh, no. Did you catch them together?” She looks down.

“No. They were having tea. Fucking tea. Aspen wanted to introduce him to me as a potential second mate. She had been trying to tell me that she had changed her mind about taking on others within our bond, but she couldn’t figure out how to do it.”

“Was she doing it for financial reasons?”

I shake my head, my face going hot. “No. She felt that it was her duty as a Mistveil female to take on more than one male and to be in a mating circle. Her parents were in a mating circle. It’s how she was raised. I know they were putting pressure on her to do the same with me, but I never expected her to listen to them. It felt like a bunch of bullshit to me. I felt betrayed. Like she didn’t love me in the way she had said she did. All those days and nights we spent wrapped up in each other. All the promises we made. There was a part of me that already felt bonded to her, even though we hadn’t made it official. My dragon felt bonded. We had started to form a deep connection, which happens with our species.” That’s when the shame hits me. “I reacted badly.” My voice is choked up.

“I’m sure you did. I would have, too. You loved her. If my boyfriend brought another woman home, I would kick his ass. I’m not being literal. I wouldn’t actually kick his ass. I would have something to say about it, though. I would have broken up with him, for sure.”

“You have a boyfriend?” My whole body tightens. My muscles bunch.

“No, but I used to have a boyfriend. We were together for a couple of years. I can relate.”

“Okay. Good. I mean, we fucked. I don’t fuck females who are spoken for.” My voice is a rough rasp. I have to work to keep it down.

“Do you have to use such a crass word?”

“What? Fuck? Is that the word you don’t like?” My voice is laced with humor. “It’s what we did, Octavia. There’s nothing crass about it.”

“I suppose, but humans use other terms. Fucking is…it’s…rude.”

“What other term should I use?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs, going beet-red. “Sex. Can’t you just say sex?”

“Sure, if it will make you happy.”

“Better yet, can we not speak about sex at all?”

I smile. She’s uncomfortable talking about what we did or even having me refer to it as fucking.

“Okay, so, this guy was at tea? Were you living together? Was this your house?”

“We weren’t officially living together. Although Aspen spent almost every night at my place from when we first met. She kept her apartment and invited me there. I thought she’d finally put it on the market. That she was going to show me the ‘For Sale’ sign. I thought I was going to help her pack the rest of her things. That we would make love and order takeout and finally start planning the rest of our life.”

“Oh, no!” she gasps, holding a hand over her mouth. “Only this guy was there.”

I nod. “He sat on the sofa drinking fucking tea like he owned the place. Like Aspen was already his. Like it was a done deal. It killed me to have the love of my life explain to me that she wanted me to consider allowing him to mate with her, too. Itwould be just the three of us, nice and fucking cozy. I saw red. I’m not proud of my actions, but I lost it.”

“Did you hurt her?”

“No. I would never hurt a female.”