Page 81 of Red Fire

“He told you about me?” Her brows shoot up. “What did he say?” Her eyes go clouded. “He must have told you what happened. How I messed up?” She bites down on a perfectly plump lip.

“We spent a few days together in the jungle; there was time to kill, so, yes, he told me about what happened.”

“Has he forgiven me? Did he tell you if he still…?” Her shoulders slump. “I’m being unfair asking you. I need to ask him myself.”

“Do you want to come in?” I feel stupid asking. I’ve been inside this house for all of five minutes with zero ties to Creed. She should be the one inviting me in. This feels so weird. So awkward. I realize that I’m twisting the bottom of my shirt into knots and force myself to stop.

She looks longingly into the house. Shit! She still has feelings for Creed. Of course she does. She’s here every Tuesday. I was hoping it was guilt, but it’s not just that; there’s more, so much more. I should be happy, but all I feel is more jealousy. Crap! I need to stop with that particular emotion.

“No, I’ll come back later.” She licks her lips. “Where did you say Creed went?”

“To visit with his parents,” I tell her.

“Pearl and Benji will be thrilled to have him back. Levi too.” She smiles. “They’ve really struggled since he left. The last year more than ever. We expected him to come home as soon as his sentence was carried out. There was no word of his death, but that is normal for the jungle dragons. We rarely get word either way.” Her eyes fill with tears, but she blinks them back. “I knew deep inside that he was still alive.” She touches her chest, right by her heart, and then gives a watery smile. “I would have felt it if he was gone. We’ve always been so connected. It was all my fault. I caused it,” she says in a soft voice. “I’ve lived with regret ever since. I really need to see him. I need to apologize…to explain… I just, I…really need to see him,” she whispers the last.

I nod. “I understand. You should come back, for sure. I know he would love to see you.”

What am I saying?

Her eyes light up, and she beams, looking even more beautiful. “I will, for sure. Or he can find me at my apartment. The same one as before; I’m still there. He knows the place.”

I frown. “Didn’t you move when you got married…mated? Sorry, I forget the terms.” I’m not sure why I asked that question. Actually, I know why I want to know if she got married. I’m getting a bad feeling about all of this.

“Oh, um…” She bites her lip. “I didn’t mate anyone else. I loved Creed. I still love him. It was stupid to try to bring that male into our life. I shouldn’t have done it.” A tear slides down her high cheekbone. She wipes it away, smiling. “Like I said, I’ve lived with regrets since. You’ll give him the message?” she asks. There is a pleading edge to her tone.

“Yes, of course. I know he will be happy you came. He’ll want to see you.”

“Thank you, Octavia. Oh, and…I didn’t change the bedding in the spare room for a good few weeks. I hope it wasn’t too dusty?”She lifts her brows. Is this her fishing? I think it is. I’m not biting, though.

“It was fine. All good after sleeping on the floor in the jungle for days on end.” It’s not my place to tell her about Creed and me. Not that there is a Creed and me. There isn’t. Also, Creed is, for all intents and purposes, single. He thought his ex had moved on. What we did wasn’t wrong. It didn’t feel wrong to me. In fact, the opposite is true. The thing I am struggling with is how right it felt.

Standing here, with the sun on my face and Aspen in front of me, it feels anything but right. It’s a good thing since I’m leaving. Since he will be getting on with his life like I urged him to do.

It’s good.

It’s perfect.

They will make the perfect couple. Creed will be happy and have the life he always wanted.

“I’m not sure when he’s coming back, but I will be sure to give him the message. I’m sure he’ll rush right over to see you. He had a lot of really nice things to say about you.”

“That’s so good to know.” She presses her lips together. “When are you going back to the Mainland?” Her tone is a little clipped. I suspect she can guess that Creed and I are not strictly friends. Maybe she can smell it on me; I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a woman’s intuition. She knows. Again, it’s not my place to say anything. We didn’t do anything wrong.

“In a couple of days. I’ll probably go and stay at the castle before then. Um…they were getting a room ready for me…and…I’ll leave today,” I stutter and splutter my way through that, sounding like an idiot.

Aspen visibly relaxes. “It was good to meet you, Octavia. If I don’t see you again, I wish you all the best.” She touches my arm. Then she turns and walks away. Her legs are impossiblylong beneath her short sundress. She turns and waves when she reaches the bottom of the path.

I wave back.

She is really nice, just like Creed said. I wish she wasn’t. I wish she was a bitch and I hated her, but I don’t. I should feel happy for Creed…and I do; it’s just that I feel shitty for myself.

I have no right.

No right at all.

I close the door and go inside to wait for Creed.

29