Page 73 of Red Captive
24
Steel
I take another bite of my scrambled eggs as Jen presses the button on the coffee machine. There is a grinding noise, followed by gurgling and hissing. It takes a few seconds before liquid starts to trickle from the machine.
She keeps her eyes on the mug. I’m not sure what’s so interesting about coffee brewing.
I take another bite of my breakfast, not tasting much of anything. I keep eating while the machine does its thing.
Once it’s done, Jen pours almond milk into her mug and stirs. Then she starts to walk back to her bedroom. She’s rushing. I think she’d jog if she could.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask her.
She looks my way for the first time since last night. She muttered a quick good morning when she finally came out of her bedroom a few minutes ago. The last time we locked eyes was when I came all over her. Now, it’s clear that she’s avoiding me. That she is embarrassed about what happened. It was clear when she couldn’t leave my bed fast enough.
Maybe I scared her last night. The sex wasn’t rough, but I didn’t exactly go easy on her. Back to the part where I came on her. Maybe I should have warned her first. Maybe she didn’t enjoy herself as much as I thought she did.
I thought it was fucking perfect. She seemed to enjoy it right until we were done, then it was like a switch flipped. It’s not like I wanted to cuddle. I didn’t expect her to stay the night or anything, but running off as soon as we were done was a little abrupt.
“Talk about what exactly?” Jen frowns, looking at her bedroom door longingly.
“About why you’re avoiding me. You didn’t even want dinner last night.”
“I’m not avoiding you, and I didn’t have dinner because I had a big lunch.”
“We fucked last night. I was inside you, and now you can’t even look at me.”
Her eyes flare for a second. “I’m looking at you right now.”
She wishes she wasn’t.
“Only because I asked you if you wanted to talk, otherwise you’d be behind that door avoiding me some more.”
“Okay, fine. Maybe I am avoiding you a little.” She sighs.
“A little?” I lift my brow.
She sighs again, biting on her lower lip.
“Don’t do that,” I tell her.
“Do what?”
“Don’t give in to regret. What happened, happened. I would have asked if it was okay for you. If you were okay…but you ran like your ass was on fire. It’s crystal clear to me that you arenotokay with what happened, and I’mnotokay with that. Not at all. Thing is, we still have a couple of weeks together. I would prefer it if we talked it out and moved forward.”
“There isn’t anything to talk through, Steel. Like you said, it happened, but now we have to move on.Ihave to move on. I need to meet with another candidate today and another one tomorrow. I’m marrying someone in a few short weeks. I can’t be fooling around with you. Last night was a—”
“Please don’t say that it was a mistake,” I say again because she still hasn’t refuted my comment about her regretting it. I’m getting the distinct impression that she’s going to say something to that effect if she keeps talking.
“I don’t regret it.”
I don’t believe her. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. It was really good.” She throws me a shy smile, her cheeks turning a little red. She licks her lips. “I don’t regret it, but it was a mistake. It can’t happen again, Steel. If the general found out. If—” She doesn’t finish what she was about to say.
“If…?” I lift my brows, trying to encourage her to go on.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not something we should be doing. You and I are both intelligent people. We both know it should never have happened in the first place. I still have a whole string of candidates to meet. I’m not like you when it comes to the emotional side of things. That much I know.”