Page 33 of Blaze & Ajax
Ajax: Is that a yes, Kitten?
Me: No!
After mulling it over for a second, I rolled my eyes at myself. God, I was so weak.
Ugh. I hate my life.
Me: Fine!
Why did I even agree to go over there? I swore to myself not to do that again with him, but as soon as he reached out to me, having him again was all I could think about. It was like heknewwhat I needed right then. But I couldn’t jump the gun. This was probably not about sex.
But if he did want to fuck me again, then I needed to get something out of it other than a sore ass.
I took a quick shower, got dressed, and headed out.
When I arrived at his apartment, I knocked, and Ajax quickly opened the door, stepping aside to let me in.
He was shirtless, wearing only jeans with holes in the knees, and smelled of his clean, spicy smell. He shut the door behind him and rested gentle hands on my shoulders from behind, guiding me toward the bed across the room.
I stopped in my tracks to see the sex paraphernalia displayed on his comforter. There was a leather paddle, an eye mask, red satin bondage ties, a crop, and a cocksling.
I suddenly couldn’t breathe, filled with electric excitement that he finally fucking got it without me having to tell him. And for the first time ever, I found myself appreciating Ajax.
“Why?” I asked, desperate to know. Why did he care enough? Why did he bother?
He leaned down and whispered in my ear, still holding onto my shoulders. “Because youchoseme. God knows why, but I know I fucked up the last time. I don’t know if I deserved thekneein my junk, but I took from your body and didn’t give you what you needed in return. To be fair, I don’t exactly know what you want since you won’t tell me. I get it. You don’t trust me. Fuck, I don’t exactly trust you either, but maybe we should work on that.”
I swallowed, still looking at all the toys on the bed. “You’re willing to do that for me?”
“I’m willing totry. Look, being some Dom isn’t really my thing. I like to do the fucking. I like rough sex. But I’ve never been in control like how you want me to be.”
“Yet, you went through the trouble to figure it out and research it.”
“I did.”
“But why?”
Ajax sighed. I could tell he was getting annoyed. “How about the ‘whys’ don’t matter for now? We both made a choice, so let’s see where this takes us.”
He spun me around to face him. I looked up into his chocolate eyes that had dark circles under them, seeing someone new for the first time. “Is that a yes, Blaze? I need your consent and trust.”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation, surprising myself.
“Good. Again, let’s leave off the ‘whys’ for now and tell me what you want and how you want it.”
Okay, I could do this. We were just trying it out, right? Could I trust him? I wanted to because he just made an effort for me.
“I… want to give up all my control and give it to you.”
Ajax frowned and swallowed hard. “You got it. How?”
“You need to punish me when I’m bad.” I rested my hand on his warm, bare chest. “And I’ve been really,reallybad lately.”
His brow dropped, and his brown eyes suddenly turned black and feral.
“But when I comply and do all that I’m told, following orders and directions, you need to reward me through pleasure and praise.”
“I can do that, Blaze, but I don’t want this to be an over-the-top thing, like a full-blown Dom/sub thing. Let’s start slowly.”