Page 28 of Flawless
My social media manager will have a fit. She’s been handling all my accounts, logged in as me, and responding to the numerous inquiries about my health by saying that I’d been working out too rigorously and that my caloric intake wasn’t as high as it needed to be.
According to Lana, I had just worked out before the show on an empty stomach with the promise of eating afterward. She stated that my schedule was so demanding that I hadn’t slowed up long enough to eat anything.
After I post the picture and message across all my social media accounts, I make sure to turn off my notifications, and subsequently, power off my phone. I know that I’ll be getting messages from both her and Jade soon or, more likely, a phone call from Jade.
Mike comes and invites me to dance, which I decline, and then ten minutes later, Steve does the same thing. By the third offer, I give in to Leo who seems to be the life of the party and doesn’t give up.
“Come on, you have to dance. It’s a rule,” Leo says.
“A rule?”
“Yeah. We have a rule that the most beautiful woman at any of our gatherings has to dance with the most charming man. That would be you...and me,” he says, gesturing from me to himself.
Laughing and unable to decline that invitation, I allow him to tug me to stand. The music washes over me and the stars shining above help me to let go of all my cares for a while.
We dance and laugh, and I have so much fun that I kick myself for all my earlier reservations. Everyone gathers around the bonfire again, and we just chill and talk about life.
“Hey, you’re unusually quiet,” Zenon says, nudging me with his elbow.
Up until now, Amaris has occupied all his attention, ensuring that she stays draped over his arm or right by his side. I’m not sure how he managed to escape right now, but I see her and Allyson sitting in a corner huddled over a phone.
“Just enjoying the peace and quiet for a change, you know?”
“Yeah,” he says, staring at me peculiarly.
“What?”
Shaking his head, he says, “Nothing.”
“Oh, it’s something,” I say, nudging him now.
“I was just thinking—”
“Who’s joining me for a swim?” Amaris laughs, removing her bikini top and bottom as she takes off, racing for the water.
“Damn, I thought we left that behind during our high school and college years,” I mutter as the other ladies and the men follow Amaris’ lead.
“Come on, lighten up and let’s just have fun for the night. Sometimes, it feels good to act like a kid again, even if you have kids. Trust me, I know.”
“Go ahead, Z. Have fun.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
“No, I think I’ll just relax here for a while. Enjoy the peace and quiet and stare up at the stars. I haven’t seen the night sky in such a long time,” I say quietly. “Not truly seen it. You know?” I ask, looking at him.
Zenon stares at me for several seconds longer, and I think he’s about to kiss me just when I hear Amaris say, “Zenon! Come on, you guys!”
He turns to glance at her and then back at me. Tweaking my nose, he winks and says, “Okay.”
I watch as he takes off running, and those toned muscles ripple like the waves in the ocean.
I lean back on the palms of my hands with my feet stretched out before me. Their laughter and whoops reach me from where I rest in the sand. I lay back further and close my eyes, thinking back to the earlier days.
I sacrificed a lot to get to where I am. My modeling career didn’t come easy, and hard work alone didn’t get me to where I am. Unfortunately, I have been used, and I have been with more men than I care to share.
The guilt and the shame of that has brought me much pain and depression through the years. That’s why I know that I’m not good enough for a man like Zenon. Although I don’t much care for her, a girl like Amaris would be a better fit for a man like him.
When they return from the ocean laughing and shouting, I sit up on my beach towel, pulling my knees close to my chest.