Page 48 of This Christmas
He turns sharply and for the briefest of moments I think he’s going to tell me he’s going back to New York, but his features soften and his eyes water. “Leaving was the biggest mistake of my life. I’m not doing it again.”
“I know.” I offer him a smile and then finish my cocoa. I take my mug to the sink, add water, and plan to let it soak overnight. Zane does the same. I don’t bother to move, letting our arms touch while we both stand there.
“I’m tired,” I tell him.
“Okay, I’ll head home.”
“Maybe you’d like to stay.” I glance at him after saying those words.
“Are you sure?”
“I am . . .” I hesitate. “But I’m nowhere near ready to uh . . .”
“Eve, neither am I. Believe me, I’m content with just kissing you.” He pushes my hair over my shoulder. “Holding you.” Zane cups my cheek. I lean into his hold, welcoming his strong hand. “We can snuggle on the couch. It’s definitely big enough for both of us. Watch a movie. ‘Tis the season for twenty-fours of Hallmark, after all.”
The fact he wants to watch cheesy holiday movies makes me giggle. “My bed is far more comfortable and there’s a TV in my room.”
“There is? I didn’t notice in my drunken stupor the last time I was here.”
“I can’t imagine how you missed it. Come on, let’s go watch movies in bed.”
“What about the tree?” he asks after I take his hand.
“It’s on a timer.”
“Excellent.”
Even though Zane’s been in my place twice before, I’ve purposely tried to keep him away from my room, even though he found his way in here in his self-confessed drunken stupor. And by his own confession, he doesn’t remember my room that night.
Thenight when everything started to change.
No, I suppose the change started when he showed up at the farm, hoping I would be there, but thinking I wouldn’t. What a twisted trick his mind played on him. I leave him in my room, behind the makeshift walls I put up for privacy, and head to the bathroom to change into a pair of light blue flannel pants with snowmen on them, and matching shirt. I take care of my needs, wash my face and brush my teeth, and then pull an extra toothbrush from my cabinet for Zane. As luck would have it, it’s his favorite color—red.
He's standing at the end of my bed, without his shirt on and his pants undone while he channel surfs. The fact that he feels so at home here screams volumes to me. Somewhere out there in the universe, a seed was planted at Thanksgiving that he needed to come home. First to his dad, and then to me. Maybe he also knew Caryn and small-time life wouldn’t agree and wanted to test her to see if they truly were compatible. It’s not my place to ask him about his ex-fiancée—and I don’t want to—but the fact is, he’s not with her now and that’s what counts.
“There’s a toothbrush on the counter in the bathroom for you.”
He turns and a wide grin forms. “You’re adorable.”
Adorable is for babies and toddlers. I want him to see me as desirable . . .eventually.
“Do you mind if I sleep in my boxers? I don’t imagine you have any of my other clothes?”
“I don’t. Just the sweatshirt. I’m okay with you sleeping in your boxers because we’re going to put a pillow between us.”
Zane’s eyebrow pops up. “We are?”
Nodding, I pull my lower lip in between my teeth and struggle with eye control. I can’t help it. Even if I wanted to, Zane’s attractive. Sexy. And my memories are too vivid for my own liking.
“Eyes up here,” he says, grabbing my attention.
“I’m sorry.” I cover my face in embarrassment. Any romantic entanglements I’ve had over the years have been nothing more than an inch scratched.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” He rubs his hand up and down his torso, clearly proud of himself, and laughs as he passes me to go to the bathroom.
“Yep, definitely pillows between us,” I mutter to myself.
I opt for the side closest to the wall, crawl in, and adjust my body pillow so it’s firmly in the middle. My eyes are on the television when Zane comes back and as much as I want to look at him, to ogle him, I don’t.