Page 106 of Wolf's Chance

Memories of her and my past mingled together, crashing around me as I escaped, and I fought them as I ran.

I didn’t need to see anymore.

I didn’t need to remember.

Because I could never forget.

I didn’t need to face the truth. I knew what I was deep down. I’d always known. I ran for hours, and hours turned into days.

At the base of the mountain, I held myself back. Blackridge Peak lay behind me, along with the last glimmer of light in my life. What choice did I have? My paws took that step onto the soil as emotion surrounded me, and I hesitated, my head hanging low to the ground.

Weak. Pathetic.

Murderer.

Voices of the dead whispered around me. My demons had me in their grip now, pulling me deeper down. Panting, I fought to hold on, and then I had a moment of clarity.

Why was I fighting?

Lifting my head, I faced the blackness of the mountain I knew so well. Through the darkness, I climbed upwards, my footing sure on ground that I’d walked many times before.

I felt their touch as I ascended the steep climb. The ghosts reached out, gathering me back into the shade. I could almost feel the cold fingers running through my fur as I moved closer to the place I still called home. Each step was heavier than the last, as part of me still clung to what I’d left behind, that promise of something more.

Willow’s face flashed in my mind, pale but vivid, full of life, a contrast to the world I chose to return to. I saw the way her eyes softened when she looked at me, the way that one frown line creased her forehead when she was biting back her numerous questions. The way she sometimes checked me out when she thought I didn’t see.

But my ghosts knew there wasn’t anything left in me to save. They whispered in my ear, reminding me of the lives lost, the things I’d destroyed.

They knew the darkness was where I was meant to stay.

A light breeze swirled around my feet, and I could feel her touch as sure as if she were there, soft fingers tugging me back, urging me to turn around.

I shook my head, willing myself to be free ofallthe invisible touches as I walked on.

Thiswas what I wanted.Thiswas who I was.

Packless.

Alone.

Rogue.