Page 11 of Wolf's Fate
It sounded so simple.Start talking—but where to start?
So I did what I’d want if the roles were reversed—I started at the beginning and didn’t stop until I reached what had happened this afternoon. I kept out the fact they could change into animals. Royce had asked and I knew what it meant to them to remain unknown to humans like me.
“You’re really drawing him?” Lily asked as she watched me. “Before you ever met him?”
“Yes.”
She puffed out her cheeks and released a long breath. “I mean, I know you two had a thing, but I didn’t realizethiswas the thing.” She nibbled on the end of her hair, batting my hand away when I reached out to stop her. “It needs a trim, it’s fine,” she muttered absentmindedly. “And he left? With this psychicconnectionhappening, he just thought he could leave?”
“I really don’t think it’s a psychic connection,” I muttered, feeling uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze.
“Well, what would you call it?” she asked, shifting her position on the bed. “You’re drawing him.” Her expression became thoughtful. “Do you see what he sees?”
Thinking about it, I shook my head. So many of the drawings were of his past, but then, who was I to say I hadn’t seen it from his point of view?
“No. I think I see moments that she wants me to see.”
“She?” Lily’s gaze sharpened, and I cursed myself for speaking too freely.
“My muse?” It was a wild, ridiculous stab in the dark that didn’t mention their Goddess, but Lily accepted it readily.
“Of course! Like your inspiration, right?” I nodded along with her, but really, I just let her ramble. “It’s sointeresting,” she suddenly exclaimed. “I mean, I know why you kept it from me…” She gave me a look I knew well. “Youshouldn’thave, but I understand why.” The look hadn’t changed and was completely contradictory to her words.
I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “You don’t though, do you?”
The slap on my thigh was quick, and I was grateful for the covers between us. “No! Ofcourse,I don’t!” she snapped. “Whywouldn’t you tell me? This is colossal, and you have all this crap happening to you, and you thought you could do ityourself? Are you crazy?” She didn’t give me the chance to reply. “Yes, you are. I’m your best friend. We don’t keep shit from each other. I don’t care how sexy Caleb is, he does not trump friendship.”
“It was a lot,” I told her. “It had nothing to do with how he looks, Lil.”
Her snort told me exactly what she thought ofthat. “You were thinking with your hoo-ha, and you know it.”
Except, I hadn’t been. He was a good-looking man, but the reason I went with Caleb and was still keeping his secrets was because it wasn’t justhissecret I kept. “Maybe,” I murmured, holding back my displeasure as Lily accepted it without question.
Which is why when she hit me again over the covers, it was harder and hurt. “Ow! Why?” I demanded.
She rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed with me, and I saw her frustration. Crossing her legs beneath her, she leaned forward, holding my gaze with an intensity that only Lily could manage.
“Do you think you’re protecting me?” she demanded. “Is that it? Is that why you’re giving me some story about a hot guy and your heart going pitter-patter when he gives you his brooding stare?” She leaned forward some more. “Something has happened to you. You could have been hurt, and you want to lie there and tell me it’s aboutjusta guy?”
Hearing the slight waver in her voice made me swallow hard as I studied her with the same intensity as she looked at me. Lily was scared. She was trying to mask it, but she forgot I knew her so well.
Like she knew me.
I let out a sigh, pushing my hair behind my ears, unsure how to deal with this and still keep their secret. “Lily, it’s not that simple. It’s not just about you and me. There are things…” I stopped. I weighed my options, tested my loyalty I had to her as my friend and to the shifters who may be the only way to break this link to Caleb. “Things are happening that I can’t tell you,” I admitted. “I promised. And honestly, I can’t make you understand becauseIdon’t really understand, but I know that I can’t tell you everything, and I have to ask you to respect that.” Pushing myself to sit up straighter, I watched her. “Trust me that I’m doing this for you. It’s for your own good.”
The weight of the silence lay heavy between us, and I felt the pressure of it like a weight on my chest.
I think she saw my struggle because, for a brief moment, her expression softened before she looked away. When she looked back, her resolve had hardened, and I held back my groan.
“Then tell me what you can,” she instructed softly. “Without the vagueness and BS you just fed me, tell me what’s really going on. You can trust me,” she reminded me, and I heard the slight reprimand that I had maybe thought that I couldn’t. “No matter if you think it’s crazy, tell me.”
Looking down at my clasped hands, I watched them whiten as I gripped tightly. I’d told Royce I wouldn’t tell her, but how could I tell hersomeof it without telling herallof it? But then, could I really drag Lily into this? Earlier, I’d been lamenting that my life was a mess; did I want to bringthatmess into Lily’s life? She didn’t know what I had seen, what I saw when I closed my eyes. She didn’t know what Caleb was running from.
Because neither did I.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” I spoke softly. “It’s not that I’m doing this to be a bitch or a dick. I gave my word I wouldn’t tell you everything, on the proviso I could tell yousomething.” I searched her face, seeing the confusion in her eyes. “Please understand.”
“You think I can’t handle it,” she told meflatly.