Page 18 of Wolf's Fate

I lost myself on this mountain.

I wasn’t sure coming back here would allow me to find it.

Did I even want to find it? Who was I? An alpha without a pack? No, I was ashifterwho had no pack. Who didn’twanta pack.

I thought of her. Alone. Confused. No doubt she’d be feeling overwhelmed. I wondered if she was still on Blackridge. In my years off this peak, I’d kept my distance from pack, but no matter how hard I tried, I always came across someone. I’d heard of the alpha of the Blackridge Peak. Young when he found his power. Strong. His father was one my own father had hated. He despised his ways and how he ran his pack. I’d not been surprised to hear that the battle for alpha of the Blackridge Peak Pack had been bloody.

There was little in our world that wasn’t.

Luna had gifted us with the spirit of the wolf, and with that came the nature of the wolf. Cunning, resourceful, and complex. A creature that was devoted to family structure. What else was a pack than an extended family? Wolves were fierce, excellent hunters, and above all intelligent.

Wild and free, they lived uninhibited lives.

I hadn’t felt free in a very long time. No matter how far I distanced myself from the mountain, its weight had never truly left me. It clung to me like a shadow, a constant, unmistakable presence. At first, every mile that I had traveled to putdistance between it and me had felt heavy, as if the Peak itself was embedded within my bones.

In my soul.

My eyes closed as I fought off the shroud of remembrance. With a sigh, I got to my feet. My jeans, which were the only thing I was wearing, were well-worn. I only ever cared about my appearance when I was around humans. If you looked too much like a vagrant, they kept their distance; too polished, and either they assumed you had money already or they didn’t trust you because you lookedtoogood. It was a delicate balance, fitting in without drawing attention—a skill I learned with caution. A skill that had served me well over the years.

Now I only had one pair of jeans, frayed and worn. If I wanted to leave this mountain, I would need to get creative. I thought about leaving every day, and even though I wasn’t happy here, the thought of leaving it once again felt strange. Foreign. Could I do it again? Looking down, I almost smiled. Could I do it with only one pair of jeans and nothing else to my name?

As I considered the idea of coming off the mountain, I felt them stir, a ripple in the air around me. The spirits that had waited for my return, ever-watchful since I had been here, they rustled like a breeze through the trees. I could feel them, patiently waiting, observing, eager for me to join them.

They’d welcomed me back the night I returned. When I thought about leaving, their presence grew restless, as if they disapproved, or maybe they feared what lay at the foot of the mountain and beyond as much as I did.

“Or maybe you’ve finally gone mad and think the spirits of the dead are around you,” I spoke out loud to the empty air.

Yet saying it out loud didn’t make a difference. It didn’t sound stupid or crazy to say it. The feeling that this mountain wasn’t finished with me yet remained. Was there any wonder I wanted to escape?

Pushing the feeling away, I knew I couldn’t stay here forever. The spirits, or my memories, might try to pull me back, but I wasn’t bound to this place—not anymore.

I knew that leaving wouldn’t be like it was before. Before, I had a thirst for vengeance, and rage and grief rode me hard. I’d had a purpose when I left.

Now, what purpose did I have?

Her face floated across my memory. Willow? She wasn’t my purpose. She had nothing to do with me. That thought felt like a lie.

They said that we were linked. Were we?

There weren’t many people who would draw someone that they’d never met. Or sketch scenes from someone’s past with such detail for someone who could never know those things.

I lay back down on the ground and stared at the sky. “Why her, Luna? Why a human?” I lay quietly as I watched a cloud lazily pass by. “Is that my punishment?” I asked the Goddess calmly. “I’m no longer worthy of a vision to a shaman; you send your message through a girl? Ahuman?”

Stillness surrounded me as I waited for the answers. I’d have a long wait. I’d asked these questions every single day since I got here, and silence had been my only answer.

I lay in the same place, unmoving, staring at the sky. The gray-blue turned to blue, and blue bled to the grayish purple of dusk before the darkness swallowed the light.

When only the moon was visible in the sky, I stood. Thejeans were pushed down and discarded when I stepped out of them. I changed my form to my wolf and gave the moon a cursory glance before I turned away.

The spirits surrounded me when I was in this form, so close I could feel them brush against my coat.

My howl ripped through the silence of the night. I would ask my questions of Luna again tomorrow.

It was time to hunt.

The cool windwhistled over the peaks, sharp and biting as it burrowed its way beneath my fur. I started the descent, my paws maneuvering with confidence over the loose gravel and stones. The sound as the looser debris rolled down the slope was my only companion. Autumn hung heavy in the air. Snow would only be a few weeks away, maybe sooner. The air had a bite to it with more than a hint of promise. Cold winters, I was used to; it was the quiet I was struggling with. The depth of silence on the Peak was only making my thoughts seem louder.

I’d been a lone wolf for so long, but I hadn’t been truly alone. The world of humans had been within easy reach whenever the silence became too loud. Lone wolves weren’t supposed to thrive, and I hadn’t, but Ihadsurvived. I wouldn’t say I lived. I stopped living when my pack died.