Page 14 of His Hungry Wolf

“What do you want me to say?”

“How about that you’re sorry? Or that you’re going to stop being such a dick to me.”

“I really don’t have the time for this?”

“And that’s the problem, you never have time for me. During the season you make the excuse that you’re preparing for games…”

“I have to prepare for games!” I insisted.

“Then when the season ends, you take off without a word like I don’t matter to you, even a little?”

“Of course you matter to me.”

“Then why don’t you act like it? Why don’t you ever act like it?”

I knew the answer to that question. It was because there was always a part of me that believed I would end up with Claude. I knew it wasn’t fair to Jason, but I had always had one foot out the door with him. I was never all in.

“Nothin’, huh? Figures,” he said after my long silence.

“What does that mean?”

“That means I don’t think I want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“This! Any of this?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I wanna break up.”

“Okay. Whatever,” I told him not wanting to fight anymore.

“So that’s it, huh?”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to break up.”

I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I heard Jason begin to cry.

“Fine. Bye, Merri.”

“Bye, Jason,” I said ending the call.

Tears rolled down my cheeks before I could do anything to stop them. The reason I hadn’t spoken to Jason before leaving was because I was trying to avoid this. The reason why my tear-stained cheeks had been broadcast nationwide was because the season was over, and I knew that we would eventually get to here.

Jason had been my first gay relationship. I had started dating him when I thought being cute and gay was enough to sustain a partnership. After a year together, I realized that it wasn’t.

We were different people. If we were stereotypes, he would be the sassy, party gay while I was the closet-case. It wasn’t like I was ashamed of him or anything. He was successful and hot. I just wasn’t looking for our families to get together at Christmas.

The truth was that he deserved better than me. Everyone did. I was a lousy boyfriend. I worked all of the time. I didn’t like PDA. And I was hung up on my straight best friend who I hadn’t talked to in two years. Why would anyone want to be with me?

I sniffled and wiped the tears from my face. I had created this situation and now I had to deal with it. I had created everything bad that had happened to me recently, and I was going to have to figure my way out of it.

So although it seemed daunting, there was no better place to start than where it all began, with Claude. Knowing him, he walked away from the team and me and never looked back.

I guess I should just be grateful that he still remembered my name. Claude had a way of blocking out anything that he didn’t like. And for the past two years, I was sure that he didn’t like me.

Feeling my phone buzz, I looked at it expecting it to be Jason again. It wasn’t. It was a text from Papa.