Page 344 of His Hungry Wolf
I was never meant to be with Nero. That wasn’t why we had been put together. I was there to help him. I knew he was having a rough time with life. I knew he was inclined to make bad decisions. Yet, I allowed things to develop between us.
It was wrong of me. If I cared about him… if I truly cared about him, then I had to do better. If I loved him like I claimed to, then I had to make a decision for him. We couldn’t be together. Not if I cared about him. And not if I’m going to help him.
I knew what his problem was and he wouldn’t be having it if I hadn’t stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong. When I heard his mother’s story, it broke my heart so it had to have devastated Nero. Someone had to tell him that he mattered to them. A lot of someones had to tell him.
Marching back to my room to come up with a plan, I got a phone call from somebody I hadn’t expected.
“Quin? What’s up?” I asked happy to hear from him.
“Have you seen Nero?”
“Yeah, I left him about thirty minutes ago. He had an interview with a Nashville reporter. I think he’s still at the sports facility.”
“I don’t think he is.”
“What’s going on?”
“I just got a call from Titus. He walked in on him tearing apart their room and when Titus went to stop him, Nero attacked him. He said, when he woke up, Nero was gone. Kendall, I don’t see him doing anything good.”
Shit!
“Do you have any idea where he might be?” Quin pushed.
“None.”
“Really? Because I was counting on you knowing something.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t.”
As soon as I said it, an image flashed into my mind. It was of us standing at the edge of the lake. It was where he ran to when he was a kid. I don’t know why I thought about it, but remembering the moment I fell in love with him wasn’t helpful right now.
“Okay. Cage is trying to call him. Hopefully, he’ll pick up.”
“Let me know he’s alright if you hear from him.”
“I will,” Quin said before ending the call.
This was my fault. There was the reason Professor Nandan wanted me there. I was supposed to be his support. Instead, I got lost in my melodrama bullshit. Now, he was out there somewhere hurting others and probably himself.
I again thought about our time at the lake. What had made me think of it? I wasn’t sure. But, I had to get my head in the game. I had to think of where he could be. At some point, he must have shared something that would help now.
Continuing to think about it, I headed back to my room. I was kind of hoping that Cory wasn’t there. I loved him, but he had been acting very weirdly ever since the cuddling incident.
I had tried to tell him that nothing that had happened was a big deal. Yea, he held me all night and it was so intimate that I dreamed about him. But, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Life goes on.
I was going through a hard time. I was appreciative that he was there for me. I told him that. He grunted something unintelligible and then got all twitchy. Like I said, he was being weird.
I really wished he wasn’t because it would have been nice to tell him everything that had just happened. How many horror stories had I shared with him about Evan Carter? How many times had I woke him up with my screaming? Well, stop the presses. Evan and I are good now!
Okay,weweren’t really good. But, I thinkI’mgood. At least, I would be if it wasn’t for what Quin told me about Nero. I had to think of what I could do to help. Maybe what he needed was an intervention. But instead of dragging him off to rehab, it could be people telling him how much they loved him. They could all, person after person, repeat that they loved him and how happy they are to have him in their life.
I stopped walking and pressed my fingers against my eyes. What that reminded me of was that I couldn’t be one of those people. I could never be one of those people. I couldn’t love him the way I so desperately wanted to. Not if I was going to give him the help that he so clearly needed. We can’t all get what we want and the person who won’t be able to get it this time is…
Kneeling before I fell to the ground, I sat on my ass and cried. These weren’t like the tears I shed an hour ago. This time I knew why we weren’t going to be together and it was out of love. This was how I could prove to him that I loved him, by putting his needs over mine. And these weren’t just words and empty promises anymore. I knew what I needed to do… even if knowing didn’t make things easier.
I sat on the ground crying things out. It was a while before I was able to get up and continue to my room. By the time I got there, I felt better. Okay, I didn’t feel better, but I did feel stronger.
“Hey,” I said to Cory who ended up being home.