Page 367 of His Hungry Wolf
Titus
I couldn’t have seen what I had, could I have? Lou, the guy who had been on more first dates than there are trees in Tennessee, had gotten engaged? That can’t be right. But I had seen it. I was standing there watching it.
Lou had told me who it was he had been texting with. It was with a transfer student who was on the football team. He had arrived this semester so it was after I had been cut. But I definitely recognized the guys singing behind him. They had been my teammates.
Having to close my eyes as I reached my truck, I steadied myself and took a breath. My wolf was shredding me from the inside fighting to get out. I couldn’t let it. If I did, it would tear everyone apart.
I knew it wasn’t anyone else’s fault, though. I was the one who had waited too long. I had ignored everything Nero and Quin had told me about telling him how I felt. But I had finally listened. This was going to be the day.
I had made a detour to get the flowers. If I hadn’t, could I had been there to stop it? If I had told him how I felt, would he have still said yes to that guy?
My phone rang waking me from my building fury at myself. Pulling it out, I saw Lou’s name. I couldn’t talk to him right now. Knowing I couldn’t pretend to be happy for him, I shoved it back into my pocket.
Looking at the dozen red roses that had cost me an arm and a leg, I tossed them onto the ground. I had been such a fool. I couldn’t be here. I needed to get away. Glad that I had stopped back at my place to pick up my truck instead of coming here directly from the airport, I got in and pulled away.
Within moments, my phone rang again. Pulling it out as I drove, I again saw Lou’s name.
“I don’t want to hear that you got engaged! Don’t you understand that?” I shouted at the phone before tossing it onto the passenger seat.
Knowing that I needed to get as much distance as I could from what just happened for my own sanity and everyone’s safety, I didn’t head to my dorm. Approaching the freeway home, I turned onto it. Just as I did, the phone rang again. I wasn’t sure why Lou wasn’t getting the point. There was no way I was going to pick up.
Yeah, I had told him I would meet him at the pastry shop but only because his boy had flaked or whatever. But he showed up. Lou didn’t need me there. So, why won’t he stop calling me?
After he called for the fourth time, I turned off my ringer and turned on the radio. I didn’t care what was playing as long as it took my mind off of what I had just seen.
I couldn’t accuse Lou of anything. He had always been upfront about who he was. He wanted to find love and he was going to go out with every guy in the state to find it. I was the one who was too chicken-shit to admit what I was.
The only person I had ever told about liking guys was Quin. I still haven’t even told Nero, and not only had we grown up together, but we were roommates when he proclaimed his love for his boyfriend on national TV. Nero risked his chance of being drafted to the NFL for the man he loved and I still couldn’t come out to him.
So, if not Nero, then who? Certainly not Lou, the guy I was in love with from the moment I saw his puckish smile and big, adorable brown eyes. And instead of accepting who I was, what did I do? I became his buddy, his best friend.
Well, ya know what? I’m tired of being everybody’s friend. I want to be desired. I wanted Lou to want me.
But it was too late now. He had found his guy and had gotten engaged. He had only mentioned having two dates with him. I thought I had more time. But I was the only one to blame.
Unable to stop thinking about it on my hour and a half drive back home, I was glad to feel the town’s protective bubble consume me. It took away my wolf’s heightened sense of smell but it was the unofficial start of our little backwoods town. The drive to my mother’s place wouldn’t take long after passing that.
Pulling up to the split-level log cabin I had grown up in, I took in the view. I was home. And, although it wasn’t the house Quin bought in Snow Tip Falls to be with his boyfriend, Cage, it was still a nice place. It was on a hill that overlooked a tree-covered valley. You couldn’t ask for much more than that in a town like ours.
Whereas Quin was born into ungodly wealth. My mother just had the pension the Air Force gave her after my father was shot down during combat. She was a human who raised a wolf shifter by herself. I wasn’t the type to consider my mother my best friend. But she was my rock. No matter what bad thing happened to me, I knew I would always have her.
Getting out of my truck, I walked to the front door knowing that I wouldn’t have to deal with everything going on around me once I stepped inside. It’s not like I’m scared of change. I’m the one who has been campaigning to remove the protective barrier. I’ve always been a big fan of change. I think change is good.
But with Lou getting engaged, Nero moving to a new state, and me getting a new roommate all in less than a week, I could use a little stability. That was my mother. Etiquette, traditional values, and the status quo were the things she lived by.
Flinging open the unlocked door, I looked around for my mother. When I found her, I froze. I probably should have looked away. But the first time you see your mother and her boyfriend sprint from the couch to the bedroom naked, it takes a moment to process.
“Oh my God!” I yelled as the horrible image burned into my brain.
Was this why people in Greek mythology gauged out their eyes? I think I finally understood.
“What are you two doing?” I shouted horrified.
Although it was too late and I would never be able to close my eyes again, I spun facing the opposite direction. I considered leaving but what good would that do? The damage had been done. Besides, where else could I go?
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” my mother said sounding as horrified as I felt.
“I thought I would come and visit you. Maybe I should go.”