Page 417 of His Hungry Wolf

Nothing I thought I had was real. Everyone had just been killing their time with me waiting for something better. I was tired of being everyone’s second choice. I needed something real. This pain was too much.

From now on I was going to do what everyone else did. I was going to take what I wanted and only think of myself. I was going to create the life I wanted and not wait for someone to give it to me.

I was never going to let myself feel this way again. Not for Lou. Not for anyone. Never! I was going to be a wolf.

Chapter 7

Lou

The last thing I expected to see when I arrived back at the estate that day was Sey. Having not heard from him after I had given him the address, I thought things were over between us. Was I wrong for assuming that?

How could I know that he would show up unannounced? How could I know he wanted to surprise me? And what was I supposed to do now that Titus and I had been together?

Sey and I had barely kissed. How could we do more? We had only been on two dates. On the third, he had asked me to marry him. And on the fourth, he was being coddled over by my family.

It was like they no longer cared I was gay. All that mattered was that Sey’s family was one of the few Tennessee families that had been as “lucky” as our own. Generations ago, they had worked together. And it was in part because of Sey’s great grandparents that my great grandparents held onto their plantation after the civil war.

It was ironic that I could be the one to merge our two families. I was gay and despised our family’s history. Yet, out of all of the guys I had dated, he was the one who had asked me to marry him. It had to be destiny, right?

Sey and I stayed an extra night at the estate allowing Frank and Martha to gush over him a little more. I definitely didn’t like how he had just shown up without a hint that he would, but I did like feeling like a part of my family for the first time in my life.

I didn’t know what approval felt like until my mother gave it to me because of Sey. How could I break things off with him now? How could anything feel more right?

At the same time, I couldn’t help but think about what I did to Titus. He had to understand why I did it, right? No matter what had happened between the two of us, Sey was my real fiancé.

That didn’t mean that what I felt for Titus wasn’t also real. It was. That was one of the reasons I had Sey sleep in the guest bedroom instead of my bed. But maybe there was more to being with someone than just loving them.

“Your family really liked me,” Sey said as we drove back to campus.

“They did. And they don’t like anybody.”

“They definitely didn’t like what’s his name.”

“His name is Titus. He’s my best friend.”

“Oh. And, why did you tell them he was your fiancé, again?”

“Because I didn’t know you were coming.”

“So, you just told your family you were engaged to someone else.”

“How was I supposed to know that you would show up like that? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I told you, I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“But, you didn’t reply to any of my texts. What was I supposed to think?”

“Well, I didn’t think you would replace me with the next guy to come along if I got a little busy.”

“So, you were busy? That’s why you ignored my texts?”

“I didn’t ignore your texts. I read them. I just got busy before I could reply. At the risk of sounding like a dick, I do have other things going on right now. I just transferred to a new school. I’ve been trying to win over my teammates. I’m fighting for my place as starting quarterback. And, unlike you, I have to deal with parents who are having a hard time accepting that their only son is gay. So pardon me if it takes me a minute to reply to you.”

“I didn’t know any of that.”

“Well, now you do. So, maybe instead of beating me up for wanting to surprise you, you can just say thank you for doing something nice for you?”

I considered what he said. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was the one threatening to screw things up between us. He had asked me to marry him. Didn’t that mean that he was all in? Didn’t that also mean that I had royally screwed up by letting things happen with Titus?