Page 73 of His Hungry Wolf

“You didn’t happen to bring a flashlight, did you?” He asked me as we entered the darkness.

“I brought candles,” I reminded him, hoping it would excuse my obvious oversight.

“I liked the candles. It was a good choice,” he said cheerfully, making me feel a little better.

Not wanting to relight the candles for fear of having to face what I had done, we slowly found our way to the wooden path and back to our car.

“You chose a good spot. That was nice. Thanks,” he said in a tone that told me that he was going to pretend we hadn’t done what we had.

That was good. It would give me more time before he couldn’t pretend anymore and he ran off, never speaking to me again.

With the drive back to my place being incredibly quiet, I had a lot of time to think. Did I say think? I meant panic about every breath he took that wasn’t perfectly calm and measured. Perhaps if we could get through tonight without the shit hitting the fan, I could salvage this.

“I guess we should go to bed,” he said as we stood in my living room. “Back to practice tomorrow?”

“Yep, back to the grind… I mean practice,” I said, hearing what I had said. “We’re going back to practice tomorrow… our schedule.”

It was official, I had forgotten how to speak.

“Okay. Sounds good.”

Of course it sounded good to him. It would mean that he wouldn’t have to deal with what we just did. He could ignore it. I mean, not that it was a bad thing. As soon as he could forget it, we could get back to rebuilding our relationship.

“Soooo…,” Claude said, looking at the couch.

“It’s not that comfortable, is it?” I admitted, woefully.

“It’s fine. It’s more comfortable than a few beds I’ve slept on. It’s just small.”

“I mean, you could sleep in my bed if you want. But, you should know that I snore.”

“I’m the one who informed you of that during one of the many times we shared a tent.”

“That’s right! So, it shouldn’t be a problem then,” I said, both sweating and getting aroused.

“If you don’t want me to…”

“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just…” I closed my eyes, making what I had to say easier. “I don’t think we should do what we did, again.”

Claude looked at me, confused.

“Of course. Right.” He paused. “But, just so we’re both clear, why not?”

How did I explain to him that I was terrified that he would get tired of my ass and leave?

“You came here to prepare for the showcase. I think we should both focus on that. You’re only going to get one shot and I want this for you. It will be like how a boxer doesn’t have sex before a fight.”

“A boxer. Right,” he said, apprehensively.

I desperately wanted to change the topic.

“Did you want to take a shower first?” I asked him.

“No, you can go first. I know how long I take in there,” he said, no longer looking at me.

Leaving him and practically running to the bathroom, I closed the door behind me and rested my forehead on it. What was I doing? Had I just assumed that he would want to have sex with me again? And did I invite him into my bed?

I was trying to be a good guy. How was I supposed to do that with him lying next to me half-naked every night?