Page 42 of Goddess of Light
This could be my first test.
I find him in a side corridor near the kitchens, seated on a low bench with two guards standing a few feet away, arms crossed. Rasmus’ red hair falls over his eyes as he stares sullenly at the floor. At my approach, the guards straighten, and he lifts his head. Our eyes meet—mine cold, his guarded.
“Rasmus,” I say curtly. “Good evening.”
He raises an eyebrow; amused or resentful, I can’t tell. “General Lovia,” he says dryly.
“Don’t start,” I warn, keeping my tone even. “I want to talk. The guards can step aside.” I glance at them, and they hesitate. Despite my new status, they clearly aren’t sure if it’s wise. But I give them a firm nod, and they move a few steps farther off, still within reach if something goes wrong. Plus, I can take care of myself. Rasmus may have some magic somewhere, but he’s just a mortal in the end.
I sit down on the bench beside Rasmus but not too close. I rest my hand on my sword hilt casually, letting him know I’m not stupid. “I want to know something,” I say. “About our mother.”
His lips twist. “You mean the mother who left me to die?” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You think I know her now? She fucking blindsided me.”
I observe his face. There’s anger there, hurt. He’s just as wounded by her abandonment as anyone would be. “I think you know a part of her none of us do. You spent time with her, didn’t you? Long enough to earn her trust, be part of her schemes. She chose you for a reason, and not just because you’re her son. She must have confided something in you.”
He snorts. “Sonis a generous term. I was a pawn, a useful extension of her will and nothing more.”
I recall how he shot me with an arrow, how he mouthed off. “You certainly acted like you believed in her cause.”
He turns his head slightly, eyes narrowed. “I was wrong, okay? Now I see I was just another tool.”
I consider his words. He’s admitting he was manipulated, but does that make him trustworthy now, or just desperate? “If you resent her, if you truly feel betrayed, then you should help us. She’s your enemy as much as ours.”
Rasmus looks away, silent for a moment. “You think a few kind words will make me forget who I am?”
“Well, who are you then?”
He doesn’t answer.
I sigh. “Listen, I don’t expect miracles. I’m just pointing out the obvious. She cast you aside. We saved your life. That should mean something.”
He shakes his head. “You saved me for your own purposes. Don’t pretend it was charity. If I was of no use, you’d have left me in Yggthra’s coils, right?”
“No,” I admit. “I went back to save you for reasons I don’t really understand, but it wasn’t because I thought you were useful. Leaving you to die was the wrong thing to do. Look, we both know what Louhi is capable of. We both know she’s tearing Tuonela apart. You might not care about the realm, but you care about your own skin. Aligning with us could keep you alive.”
He laughs, a sharp bark with no real humor. “Spoken like a true pragmatist. You know I’m only trying to survive.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But trusting you would mean trusting the family I never knew, the family that scorns me. I see how you look at me, Lovia. Like a snake you mustn’t turn your back on.”
I meet his gaze steadily. “You did try to kill me,” I remind him. “You tried to kidnap Hanna. You sided with my mother, who wants nothing more than to destroy everything my father built. Forgive me if I’m a little wary.”
A flash of shame, perhaps regret, passes through his eyes. “You’re right,” he admits quietly. “I was your enemy. I could be again—or maybe not.”
I roll my eyes and sigh. I swear, he’s being annoying on purpose, if not obtuse.
I lean forward slightly, lowering my voice. “What if we tried something else? What if we worked out a truce—a real one, not just you tied up like a captive? Give us something. Information, a weakness in Louhi’s plans, something that proves you’re useful beyond your own survival.”
He grimaces, shaking his head. “You expect me to just hand over secrets I’m not even sure I know? Louhi didn’t exactly leave her plans on a scroll for me to read.”
I was afraid of that. He might know nothing concrete, which complicates things. “What about Rangaista or the Old Gods? Did you see anything that might help us understand their nature, their limits?”
“You know their nature, Lovia, way better than I do. We’re just talking in circles now.” He pauses, eyes distant. “I’m not eager to throw in my lot with you either, but maybe that can change if I see I’m not just a prisoner here, if I see you’re at least willing to consider me as more than a hostage.”
I study his face. I see hints of sincerity—or maybe it’s a clever trick. He has been taught by a master manipulator, after all. But still, I get a sense that he’s lost, drifting. He had his entire worldview shattered. That can break a person…or open them to change.
“Rasmus,” I say slowly, “we’re on the brink of a battle unlike anything our realm has seen. If we fail, everyone loses—Louhi rules a realm of nightmares. If we succeed, maybe we build something better. If you help us, you might find a place in that better world.”
“A place, huh? You think I can just reinvent myself? What would I even be?”
I smile thinly. “That’s up to you. You could be many things, but I know you’re no longer your mother’s puppet.” I study his face for a moment, seeing Torben in his features. “Perhaps your place is getting to know your real father. I know you and Torben go way back, that he was your mentor in the Upper World, but it’s only recently you learned he was your true father. Maybe you being here is less about helping us and more about helping him.”