Page 90 of On the Double
He sat down on the table across from me, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “You have to let this shit with your dad go.”
I huffed out a laugh, shaking my head. “Just let it go,” I muttered.
“Yeah, man. You’re holding onto this shit too tight. It’s gonna fucking ruin you.”
“It already has,” I muttered, pushing up from my chair. I paced the room, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. Fuck, it wasn’t evenmy family, but I could feel the anger and resentment pushing down on me.
I turned to him, practically pleading. “Just swear to me something.”
“Of course.”
His serious expression eased the growing pain in my chest. “Swear to me that if shit goes south, you’ll get out. Don’t stick around out of obligation. Swear it!”
“Yeah, man. I swear it.” He slowly walked forward like I was a caged animal, then gently rested his hand on my shoulder, squeezing slightly. “This isn’t my first kid. We’ve already been through this, so what the fuck is going on?”
I didn’t know. I didn’t like it when anyone had kids around me, but for some reason, I felt like I was about to have a fucking heart attack at the mere mention of a kid, and the only thing I could think of was the woman who had taken over my bed.
“It has to be the fake engagement,” I muttered. “All that crap in my head for the past week.”
“But it’s fake,” he reiterated. “It’s not going to happen.”
“I know, but?—”
“Edu, you have to move past this. I get it. You don’t want a family. Ever. And that’s fine, but you’re fucking carrying around this baggage like it’s happening right now.”
Because it was always at the back of my mind. No matter how I tried to shove it away, if I took a woman home, it was there—waiting in the darkness and reminding me not to get too involved. It didn’t matter that it happened a long time ago. I could handle the facts of my childhood. I couldn’t handle ever letting it become part of me.
And now I was fucking embarrassed for acting the way I had. The look on Lock’s face as he stared at me would make anyone worried. I huffed out a laugh, shoving him back a step. “Well, if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I laughed, pulling him in for a hug. I slapped his back and kept the smile on my face even though I felt like telling him to run for his life.
I wasn’t an idiot. I knew not everyone had the shitty upbringing Idid. There were people who genuinely loved each other, and I saw that a lot in the men and women I worked with. But it was hard to shove it aside and be happy when I knew I could never stomach taking that step in a relationship.
“Let’s pay for this shit and get out of here.”
“Hey,” he grabbed my shoulder. “You good?”
I lifted one of the books and grinned. “I will be tonight.”
24
HARPER
I draggedmy ass home after a long day of work and flopped on the couch. Just as I closed my eyes, the front door opened and Oliver walked in. I didn’t need to see him to know it was him. One, we were the only people who lived here. And two, he smelled like the garage.
“I really don’t want to fight,” I muttered, pressing my hand to my forehead.
“Neither do I.”
Peeling my eyes open, I watched as he took the seat beside me and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”
“That you left or because of what we fought over?”
“Both.”
Sighing, he twisted to face me. “Harper, I need you to tell me what’s going on. I hate that there’s this rift between us.”