Page 50 of Midnight Rider

The trip seemed to take forever. He was aware of every cloud in the sky, the sound of dogs baying somewhere nearby. He felt the threat of rain in the air, but none of these things really made any impression on his tortured mind. All he could see, think, breathe was Bernadette. He had to be in time.

He took the last lap up to the house apologizing to the poor horse, so exhausted that it could barely breathe. He left it at the front porch and ran inside, down the hall to Bernadette’s room. The raspy sound of her breathing filled the space. Her face was white and cold, but sweating just the same. He could see her breaths at the base of her throat, could see her ribs expanding as she tried to get oxygen into her lungs, past the stale air she couldn’t force out of them.

Colston stood up when he saw what Eduardo had in his hand. “Thatmedicine,” he said absently, and his eyes were red. He wiped at one eye with his sleeve. “I never even thought of it.”

“She left it behind.” Eduardo moved forward, measured the dose and lifted Bernadette’s head gently to administer it. “Here,” he whispered. “Here, Bernadette, you must take it. This is your medicine. It will ease the spasm so that you can breathe. Come, open your mouth,querida.”

She remembered very little since her arrival home. Eduardo was here, she could barely make him out through her tortured eyes. He was trying to give her something. What was it? She obeyed his deep voice mechanically and took the medicine.

Eduardo took Colston’s place by the bed then and waited, cradling Bernadette’s small hand closely in his. He was holding her right hand, but he noticed the left, lying on her chest. There was no ring on it. He winced, because he knew to his cost why the ring was missing. She’d taken it ff. She’d taken him out of her life. He deserved it, but it hurt.

“That medicine,” Colston said, “it worked before. Do you think it will work this time? She’s so bad, Eduardo, so bad!”

“It will work,” he said doggedly. “It must work!” He wouldn’t let himself believe otherwise. Bernadette couldn’t die. He couldn’t lose her. Life would be worthless without her.

His fingers tightened around hers. Was he imagining it, or was her breathing a little less labored now? He stood up and moved closer to her, so that he could see her face more clearly. Yes, she was relaxing. Her eyes opened as she breathed. Her whole chest heaved violently with the struggle to catch each breath. The hollow at the base of her throat sucked in with each pull of air. He could see the paleness of her face, the cold sweat that covered it. She was in agony, and he wanted to bear the pain for her.

Her mouth opened, but she couldn’t get words out. She sat up a little more, bending forward. The medicine was making her head spin. But her chest was relaxing. Her lungs were relaxing.

She slowly inhaled...and the air came out again! She laughed softly at the sudden ease of breathing. She did it again. Then again.

“She’s breathing easier, do you see, lad?” Colston exclaimed. “Praise God!”

“Praise Him, indeed,” Eduardo said heavily. “Bernadette, is it easing now?”

“Yes,” she managed huskily. “It’s...better.”

He drew her forehead to his chest and held it there, bending over it with eyes that stung from sudden moisture. “You little fool!” he exploded against her soft hair, holding her head even closer as the anguish he’d kept at bay for the past horrifying hour washed over him and made him shake inside. “You little fool, you could have died, coming away without your medicine!”

“What...do you care?” she retorted. “You...never even bothered...to come after me!”

His hands loosened a bit. He lifted his head from her hair and moved back a little. “Bernadette, I didn’t know that you weren’t in your room until this morning,” he said miserably. But he could tell she didn’t believe him. She looked at him with cold green eyes. He winced. Her feelings did not stem alone from him not coming after her but from what he’d done to her on their wedding night.

She lay back down against the high pillows and sucked in fresh air. Her eyes closed at the effort and then opened again. It was easier to breathe, but still uncomfortable.

“Thank you for fetching the medicine,” Colston said with heartfelt emotion as he clapped the younger man on the back. “I was so afraid for her. She said to get her the medicine, and I thought she meant that herbal tea, curse me slow brain!”

Bernadette had been surprised by her father’s care of her, a new and unusual occupation for him. She’d been even more surprised by Eduardo’s arrival and his rush to obtain her medicine from her trunk. She hadn’t remembered that it was in the trunk and not her suitcase. It was almost a fatal error.

“Would you like some fresh coffee, girl?” her father asked gently.

She nodded slowly.

“I’ll fetch it from Maria. Be right back!”

He went out and Eduardo sat down in the chair he’d occupied, close by Bernadette’s side.

“Why are you...here?” she asked, averting her embarrassed face. “Haven’t you done enough?”

He felt his face heat with the remark. He stared at his hands while he searched for something to say that would alleviate the hurt he’d dealt her. “I lost myself the night of our wedding,” he said quietly. “Absolutely. I have no excuse to offer except that I was angry and had no control over my temper and my passions. I realize that what...happened...was difficult for you. I apologize most humbly for my treatment of you. I apologize for believing you lied to me.”

She flushed at the memory. She couldn’t bear to meet his searching gaze with the incident between them. He knew her body as no one knew it, how it looked and felt and reacted to his practiced caresses. She had begged him...

Her faint moan of embarrassment went right through his body like a hot arrow. “Forgive me,” he said heavily. “You were a virgin. I had no right to treat you that way, so crudely. I have no real excuse,” he added quietly, lifting his dark eyes back to her face, “except that I wanted you so desperately that it was impossible for me to draw back.”

She colored even more. Her hands gripped the bedspread and she averted her face.

“Ah, I can see the shame,” he remarked gently. “You remember not so much what I did as how you behaved with me, is that not the real problem?”