Page 61 of Lawbreaker

She felt the words all through her body. She hadn’t wanted to come. Stasia had insisted. Until now, she’d had at least the illusion that Tony might like her one day. But he’d taken away every wisp of hope she’d ever had. He thought she was disgusting. She almost laughed at that. Considering the men she’d refused all these years, she knew she wasn’t disgusting. But to him, perhaps she was.

She shrugged and drew in a breath. “Sorry I offended you,” she said quietly. “I’ll see myself out.”

His hands balled at his sides as he watched her walk away with quiet dignity. He’d gone too far this time. He was sorry he’d opened his mouth. She’d never forgive him for what he’d just said. He could have smoothed it over, surely. It was cruel, doing it this way. But he had to keep her at arm’s length. He couldn’t afford to get attached to her or let her become attached to him. She was destined for a career in opera.

In fact, she didn’t know it yet, but Teddy and his wife had pulled some strings for her on her private audition that was upcoming in November. She’d find out about it later. She certainly had the talent. She’d sweated it out from spring until now, working with voice teachers, to avoid the competitions. Better to apply singly and in a private audition, she had told herself when she applied. Hopefully it would be less nerve-racking than the regional competitions. And these private auditions were held at the Met itself.

Tony had gone into his office and closed the door after he’d chased Odalie away. Stasia knocked on the door and went in when he called to her. She wasn’t smiling. “Did you just say something to Odalie?” she asked. “She said she had to leave.” She hesitated. “She was crying, Tony.”

He ground his teeth together and averted his eyes. “We had a little disagreement,” he lied.

“You told her to leave, that she hadn’t even been invited. How is that a disagreement?” she asked gently.

He took a deep breath and turned around. “I’m almost thirty-eight years old,” he said curtly. “You know my background. She wants a career.”

Stasia didn’t dare tell him what she was thinking. He’d already confirmed it, in a roundabout way. “What does your age have to do with her career?” she asked.

He wouldn’t look at her. “She’s got a crush on me,” he said stiffly. “I’m not about to take advantage of it. She can’t see the roadblocks, but I can.”

Stasia hurt for him. She could only imagine why he’d hurt Odalie, and it had to be because he also had feelings for her and he didn’t think there was a future for them. He had a past that he couldn’t hide. Besides, any woman he was serious about was a weakness he didn’t need. Or want. Of course, Stasia saw right through him.

“Nice story,” she said. “I could write one almost as good.”

He glared at her from black eyes.

She just smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I won’t sell you out.”

“That would be a nice first,” he muttered, jamming his hands deeper into his pockets. “I’ve been sold out my whole life.”

“Some of the people who let you down are dead. Most of them, in fact. And you still have people in your life who’d die for you. Ben, for one.”

He grimaced. “I suppose so.” He stared at the bookcase in his office. It was overflowing. He needed to put some in boxes he guessed. His eyes went back to Stasia. “I’ll apologize the next time I see her,” he bit off. His conscience was already stinging. “She was crying?” he asked, and felt as if he’d pulled the wings off a butterfly.

“Yes.” She hesitated. “I could count on the fingers of one hand the times I’ve ever seen Odalie Everett cry,” she added solemnly.

He drew in a long breath, wincing inside. He’d been brutal. “There are things going on that you don’t know about. That I can’t let you know about. But the fewer people I have around me, the safer they are.” He turned around. “You could tell her that when you go home.”

“I could. But I won’t,” Stasia said. “You’ve got a problem that you created. You’ll have to solve it on your own.”

He glared at her.

“The stare won’t work, either. I have one just like it that I’m married to.”

“Damn,” he said softly. “Oh, all right. I have to be near the apartment tomorrow around lunchtime. I could apologize over coffee.”

She laughed. Tony was incorrigible. “Okay. I’ll pave the way for you. But you’re still going to have to smooth it over.”

“I’ll work on it,” he said.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Odalie was still crying when Stasia came in. She hugged her friend and rocked her, making soothing sounds until the tears finally ended.

“I disgust him, he said,” she sobbed, wiping away tears.

In a pig’s eye, Stasia thought, but she didn’t say it. And Tony should have been flogged for telling her sister-in-law such a blatant lie.

“I should just go home,” Odalie said heavily. “I don’t think I’m cut out for a career in a big city.”