Page 1 of Broken Saint
PROLOGUE
Ella
“It’s what we’ve talked about since we graduated. All of us together,” Letty gushes on the other end of our FaceTime.
Ripping my eyes from the mirror where I was doing my makeup, I focus on the screen.
A massive lump crawls up my throat at the view before me.
Happiness radiates from her. And I can’t deny the rush of jealousy that floods my veins.
She deserves it, the happiness. The life she’s always dreamed of. Her perfect man.
A family.
But, don’t I?
Honestly, I’m starting to think that maybe I don’t. That I did something really screwed up in a previous life and I’m now being punished for it.
“I know,” I murmur, dragging myself from my thoughts.
“I thought you’d be really excited about this. When I heard the news and then saw the schedule…” She lets out a little shriek of happiness. “It’s going to be epic. I’ve missed the guys so much.I love watching them play, but to have them all together again…” She sighs happily.
“It feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?” I murmur.
I’m immediately back in Maddison Kings Panthers stadium, watching Luca, Leon—I swallow nervously—and Colt running circles around their opponents. And then when they all got drafted in their senior year, Kane, West and Brax filled their shoes and continued the Panthers’ success before heading into the bright NFL sunset to live the lives they’ve always dreamed of.
Leaving me behind…
“I’m sorry. I am excited. It’s just…” Dreaming about something happening and it becoming reality are two very different things. “Not a great time,” I confess, hoping it’ll be enough to appease her.
The truth is, I do want to go to Seattle and watch the Saints face off against the Chiefs. More than anything. I’ve watched the guys’ careers since the moment they started, and I’m desperate to see them, to tell them how proud I am of them in person, and all at the same time. I’m…I’m a shell of the girl they used to know. And I’m not ready to confront that reality yet.
“That’s exactly why it’s the perfect time. A few days away will give you the space you need to figure everything out.”
She’s right. As I look around the room I’m sitting in, I know she’s talking sense.
But I’m scared.
I’ve made this just-about-bearable life here. I’ve kept myself in the shadows, made my moves in almost complete invisibility. Stepping out of the bubble to embody the girl who used to be the life and soul of MKU parties sends a shiver of fear through every inch of me.
Letty stares at me through the screen, her all-seeing eyes taking everything in.
“Just give me your dates and I’ll book flights and a hotel. I know where the teams are staying, so?—”
“Letty,” I warn, hating that she feels the need to spend money on me. I don’t care how much Kane is earning these days; I don’t want her to pay my way.
“You can pay me back.” She sighs. “I just…I really want this. All of us together, just like the good old days. Watching the guys play and?—”
“How’s Leon’s ankle?” I ask, a pathetic attempt to dodge the real issue here.
“Getting there,” she says, rolling her eyes. “It’s his attitude that needs fixing right now. He’s like a bear with a sore head. He’s only going to miss a few weeks of the season. It’s not like he’s out for the entire season.”
“Poor Macie.” I laugh. “I bet he’s driving her crazy.”
“He is,” Letty confirms. “They’ll be there, though.”
Of course they will.