Page 13 of Broken Saint
Another face flashes through my mind, just like it always does when I think back to college, but I push it down. Nothing good can come of losing myself in memories of her. Especially not when I’m sitting at a bar with the guys and surrounded by more people than I care to count who would happily take on my secrets, knowing it might earn them a small fortune from the press.
I see the headlines almost as clearly as if I were reading them on my cell right in front of me.Seattle Saints star running back Colton Rogers confesses to still being obsessed with his on-again, off-again hookup from college.
Yeah, no. We’re not going there tonight. Or ever. And the less I think about it, the better.
“When the fuck are you going to admit it?” Luca joins in. “You’ve been hooking up with chasers even when you were backup as a freshman. Religiously, every fucking week.”
“I was enjoying life away from home. Sue me.”
“Every Friday night before a game.”
“Fuck off, rookie. You weren’t even there.”
Okay, so technically, Kane is no longer a rookie, seeing as he’s going into his second season, but that hasn’t stopped our teasing. He might be the same age as us, but he started at college a few years late, and his priority was graduating despite having the chance to enter the draft in his junior year.
It gave us a solid head start in terms of experience, and after three years together with the Saints, Luca and I are practically veterans. Something we like to point out as often as possible, purely for entertainment purposes.
His jaw ticks in irritation. “Doesn’t mean I don’t know what a fucking dog you are, though, does it, Rogers?”
“Not all of us want to sign ourselves up to a lifetime of one pussy, asshole.”
“It’s a fucking good life, though. Having someone always cheering for you no matter how badly you fumble a play. Having a warm body to cuddle up to every night.”
I think of my house and try to picture a woman in it.
Nah, not for me.
And of course, there’s the fact that all the women I meet these days are only after a handful of things.
A player, their money, and their status.
I might be willing to share my body for the night in return for pleasure, but that’s as far as it’s going for me.
I might not tell them, but Luca and Kane, Leon too, they all got lucky with their girls. The three of them are grounded, they have their own dreams, careers, and lives. And mostimportantly, they’re decent human beings. Unlike most who want a piece of us these days.
I knew what life as a pro would be like. I’ve watched the media circus all my life and experienced them barging into family life and ultimately running it into the ground.
But while being in the middle of that clusterfuck—and suffering years of pain because of it—I still knew I wanted this life for myself. Maybe I’m just a masochist or something. I’d rather not dig into my psyche right now, or ever. There’s too much terrifying shit that could be dug up that needs to stay buried. Really fucking deep.
“Spare me the lecture,” I mutter. I’ve been listening to this shit from them for years, and it never makes a difference. At this point, I’m sure they do it purely to bait me. They’ve probably got a bet going or some shit.
“You’re especially grumpy tonight, Rogers,” Luca points out. “Anything you need to get off your chest?”
“What is this? Some kind of fucked-up intervention? I go a few weeks—” Total fucking lie. “—without getting laid and suddenly, there must be some huge issue?”
“We’re not used to you hanging out with us over the girls, man. We’re just worried,” Kane adds.
“Well, don’t be. It’s perfectly natural to go through a dry spell.” I regret the words the second they fall from my lips.
“Dry spell?” Luca parrots. “So this isn’t just a couple of weeks off, then?”
“Bro, we’re fucking NFL royalty. Two days could be considered a dry spell.”
“He’s kinda got a point there,” Kane agrees before sipping his drink. “Glad I’ve got Let. Those girls can be terrifying.”
“Terrifying?” Luca asks with a snort. “Those size zeros wearing your number are terrifying? To a two-hundred-pound wide receiver? You need to find your balls, man.”
“He knows exactly where they are,” I add quickly. “Letty has locked them up for safekeeping.”