Page 140 of Broken Saint
I was confident. I still am confident that staying here is what I want. That starting over is what I need.
But now the words are out in the universe, they feel bigger than ever.
I’m moving across the country.
Starting over.
Leaving my past behind and starting a new life with Colton Rogers by my side.
I’m pretty sure feeling this overwhelmed by it all is normal…right?
“Hey, you okay?” Letty asks, stepping up beside me and wrapping her hand around my upper arm in support.
Ripping my stare from the hotel’s swanky entrance, I find her eyes.
She studies me closely, her dark eyes bouncing between mine.
She surprised me this afternoon by having a stylist, hairdresser, and makeup artist turn up at the house. Her smoky makeup is totally on point, making her eyes pop. Kane is going to love it, along with the dress she chose.
“Y-yeah,” I finally answer when I sense Peyton step up to my other side. “It’s just?—”
“A lot,” Peyton offers.
“And then some.”
“I want to say it’s going to get better, but…welcome to the Seattle Saints, El,” Letty teases. “You’re officially one of the NFL’s most famous women,” she adds with a cringe.
The thought of the photographs being taken right this second being posted online at any moment for the world to see makes acid swirl around my stomach.
The hairdresser and makeup artist might have worked their magic.
But it’s never going to be enough.
My hands tremble with fear over what random strangers are going to say about my appearance.
They’re never going to deem me good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, for their beloved Saint.
“Come on, let’s get you inside,” Peyton says, tugging me forward.
“The press sees and writes what they want, El. You know this just as well as we do. I know it’s hard, but you need to let them do their thing and just focus on what’s important.The only opinion that matters is yours,” Letty assures me. “Fuck everyone but the two of you.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I try to stand tall and hold my head high. It takes every ounce of confidence I possess to do it, but I manage it.
Turning toward the brightest flashes, I look right at them and smile.
“See,” Letty says as I focus on how it felt being in Colt’s arms last night, using it to fuel me. “You’re a natural. Now, our men are waiting.”
The three of us saunter forward, leaving the small crowd and the excitement behind us.
The second the doors close, the chaos vanishes.
Our heels click against the tiled, reflective floor as the scent of freshly cut flowers fills my nose.
Letty and Peyton know exactly where we’re going, and without having a chance to really look around, I’m led toward the back of the colossal building.
We pass a bank of elevators and a bar before we begin to approach a maître d’, whose face lights up the second he lays eyes on my two best friends.
“Ladies,” he greets with a wide, genuine smile.