Page 206 of Broken Saint
“Good morning, welcome aboard. Can we see your boarding passes please?’
Mom hands them over while the other woman watches me cautiously.
I keep my eyes downcast, but still, I recognize the moment reality hits her.
“Oh, my goodness, you’re?—”
Being locked away in the hospital, then Mom’s suite, or Letty’s house, it’s easy to forget that my photograph has been splashed all over the media.
“Don’t,” I warn, my voice barely sounding like my own. I don’t threaten people. Ever. But if she so much as tries to say his name right now…
Fuck. I don’t know. What am I really going to do? Cry more?
I shake my head and follow Mom down the aisle to find our seats as the attendants no doubt gossip behind us.
Flipping the hood of my hoodie up over my head, I try my best to hide as a few pairs of eyes move my way.
Honestly, they probably just want to check that I’ve pulled it together, but now I know that I’ve been recognized…well, every single person on this plane could understand exactly who’s shattered my heart into this many jagged pieces.
Mom steps aside so I can take the window seat, aware that I won’t want to sit next to a stranger in this state, and I shuffle down.
I focus on my breathing as the attendants do all their checks, and before I know it, we start moving.
The second the airport building begins getting smaller, I curl myself up in a ball and start crying all over again.
Thanks for everything, Colt. But we’re over now.
53
COLTON
The door knocking echoes through the house, but I don’t feel any of the things I probably should knowing that my best friend, my captain, is on the other side of it.
Just like he has done every single day this week, he’s picking me up to head to the training facility.
I can’t play. Obviously. But I have been cleared for some light exercise to help with my recovery.
No one has told me categorically that I can’t go back to playing, but equally, no one has told me that I will be able to either yet.
Luc thinks that being at the facility with the team is a good thing. That it will help take my mind off everything and give me something positive to focus on. I understand his point, but I’m finding my daily visits to the place that used to offer me such peace and sanctuary anything but positive.
And last weekend’s home game was even worse.
The crowd knew I was there. Whichever asshole was in charge of the jumbotron ensured there was a nice long shot on me where I was trying to hide in the box.
The round of applause that went up sent chills through every inch of me. But it didn’t give me the warm fuzzies I’m sure itshould have. Yeah, the support and love felt good, but it didn’t even come close to melting the ice that has wrapped itself around my heart.
It was already bad, but the day Luc turned up to tell me that she’d left, everything just got colder, darker, and even more impenetrable.
I’ve lived here for years without her. She might have always been on my mind and in my heart, but I never really thought I was missing something.
But having her back again, even if just for a short period, has reminded me of everything I fought so hard to forget when we called time on our relationship after she graduated. Fuck. Can I even call it a relationship?
To this day, I have no idea what was actually different about her. Sure, she’s beautiful, intelligent, has a body to fucking die for, both back then and now with her curves, but it was deeper than that. From that very first day, it was like my soul spoke to hers. It was fucking terrifying.
Right in front of me was everything I told myself I’d never allow myself to have.
I swear, I could see my future playing out before my very eyes. And that couldn’t happen, because I knew it was too good to be true.