Page 244 of Broken Saint
“You have nothing to thank me for. I’m the one who almost fucked everything up.”
“You came though, Colt. And you’re still here. I know how hard this all must be for you right now, and yet you’re right here, facing it head-on.”
“Nothing is as scary as I fear it will be when you’re with me.”
She glances over at me, and I hear the silent question on her lips loud and clear.
“I got lost in that hospital room, Bombshell. I had too much time to think, too much time to lose myself in the darkness. I want to promise you that it won’t happen again, but?—”
“We do it together, Colt. We fight the darkness together.”
“Fuck, that sounds good.”
“We’re not perfect. Neither of us are even close. But together, we can make everything better. Easier. We just need to trust each other, be open with each other.”
“We can do this,” I say confidently.
“One step at a time.”
As we get closer to her mom’s house, the home Ella grew up in, my eyes are everywhere, taking in everything that Ella had surrounding her in the years before I met her.
I want to know it all. Where she used to hang out with friends, where she went to school, where she had her first kiss, and the place she used to go when it all got too much. There isn’t a single thing about my girl that I don’t want to learn. Every single bit of it has led to her being the incredible woman that she is today.
“Point stuff out,” I encourage.
“Really?” she asks.
“Really. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
I catch her smirk before she lifts her free hand and points down an alleyway.
“Gave my first blow job down there.”
I choke on my breath. “The fuck, Ella?” I blurt after coughing and spluttering everywhere.
She holds steady until I look her in the eyes. Then, she falls about laughing.
“Fuck, that feels good,” she confesses as she lifts her hand to wipe a tear from her eye.
“Not funny.”
“You said the bad and ugly.”
“Bombshell, there is nothing bad or ugly about having you on your knees,” I mutter, tugging at my pants to make some space. The thought alone is enough to give me a semi.
It’s been too long. Way too fucking long.
She laughs at me before she begins taking her tour guide role a little more seriously.
By the time we pull into her mom’s driveway, I feel like I know this little town, or at least Ella’s favorite parts of it, and I feel a little closer to her because of it.
“So, this is where you grew up, then?” I ask as I take in the modest southwestern-style home before me.
“Yep. Mom and Dad bought it a year before I was born. Every single thing that has happened in our lives has revolved around this place.”
“Must have been nice to have somewhere you loved to come home to,” I muse.
Sure, we always had nice houses to return to. But I never really considered anywhere that we lived a home. Maybe before Mom was diagnosed we did. But I barely have any memories of that now. They’ve all been engulfed by the hell that came after.