Page 252 of Broken Saint

I desperately want to see the others, and I will. Soon. Just…not quite yet. I’ve got work that I still need to do with my therapist. Things to figure out in my own head. And I need the peace that my hometown has to offer for that.

When I return to Seattle with Colt, I want to be the strongest version of myself.

Mom finishes her coffee before standing once more. “I’m going to the store. If you need me, call me. I’ll be here waiting for you later.”

She smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I think she might be almost as sad about Colt leaving as I am.

“Don’t you want breakfast?”

“I’ve eaten, sweetie. Enjoy, yeah?” she says, glancing over at Colt as he expertly flips a pancake.

“Thank you,” I whisper, but it’s too late, she’s already placed her empty mug in the sink and disappeared from the room.

“I think she likes me,” Colt says with a laugh.

I laugh, watching as the stack of pancakes beside him grows taller by the minute.

“I think you might be right,” I muse.

“She’s amazing. You and Benny are lucky to have her.”

“Yeah,” I whisper absently. “We really are.”

Our morning together passes all too quickly, and before I know it, Colt is zipping up his bag. He didn’t have much time to pack before coming here, so it takes him all of about two minutes to stuff it all into his rucksack.

As much as I pray that the drive to the airport will last forever, inevitably it doesn’t, and Colt pulls into the drop-off parking long before I’m ready.

He kills the engine and silence falls between us as the lump clogging my throat grows larger.

I desperately want to beg for him not to go. But it would be selfish of me to do so.

He has a life in Seattle, a career. And like me, he also has therapy sessions that he needs to attend.

Things might be up in the air regarding him ever playing again, but his life will always be football in one way or another. And if it turns out that playing is too much for his body, then I have every confidence he’ll make a success of whatever he turns to next.

“I hate this,” Colt says, echoing my thoughts.

“Me too,” I confess.

My breath catches when his eyes turn to mine. This is ripping him apart just like it is me; yet there is nothing we can do about it.

We’re doing the right thing. I know we are. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

“Five days,” I whisper. “It’s only five days, and then you’ll be back.”

“If I can make it fewer, I will. I’ll?—”

“No,” I say, reaching over and cupping his rough jaw. “Do what you need to do. I’m only a phone call away.”

“Still too far.”

I flinch when his hand lands on my thigh, sliding up until he finds my stomach.

My heart tumbles in my chest.

Our eye contact holds, the air around us growing heavy, making me regret not pushing for more this week. We haven’t been together, and now we won’t get the chance for five more days.

It’s ridiculous. We went for years without seeing each other before this. Five days is nothing. But?—