Page 27 of Broken Saint
If only he wasn’t the ultimate player who never wants to settle for one woman, a little voice pipes up, reminding me of the red flags that come along with Colton Rogers and his wicked smirk and come-fuck-me eyes.
God damn him for being so perfect yet unattainable.
It feels like our connection lasts an eternity, but then the second he’s dragged away by more members of the team to celebrate, I realize that it was nowhere near long enough.
“Holy crap, girl. That was intense,” Peyton shouts over the chaos surrounding us.
Licking my lips, I swallow slowly, desperately trying to get my body under control.
“Intense?” Letty scoffs. “It was hot. I thought you were going to go up in flames from that look alone. Years of remembering how awesome you are rocked through that man in five seconds flat.”
“I bet he’s still thinking about it,” Peyton says, just as Colt turns back toward us. “See,” she says smugly.
His eyes find me with little effort and my lips pop open.
“He never forgot you, Ella. You can tell yourself as many lies as you like about the two of you not meaning anything to him, or him seeing you differently now,” Letty says, leaning right into my ear so that no one else will hear, “but that is not the reaction of someone who isn’t interested in what you have to offer.”
I want to believe her. I really, truly do. But I’ve been so beaten down by life, by my own mental health as well as by Chad, that I’ve no idea how to overcome all those things and do so.
Spotting me a few feet away under the harsh lights of a stadium and seeing me standing before him in real life, allowinghim to see what the past few years have done to me, are very different things.
“It’s just shock, Letty. I’m sure my presence will make very little impact on his new life.”
She chuckles as if she knows something I don’t.
“You want to put money on that?”
“No, not really. I don’t have any,” I sulk.
I’m not bitter about my friends’ successes or the lifestyles that have come with it. They deserve everything they’ve worked so hard for, and then some. But seeing Letty’s house, being part of just a snapshot of her and Kane’s, and Peyton and Luca’s lives, makes me realize just how much of a struggle the past few years have been financially as well as physically and mentally.
Really, the whole thing has been a clusterfuck of epic proportions while my friends have all been building these incredible lives.
“Yeah, probably for the best anyway,” Letty muses as the cheering around us finally begins to die down. “You’d lose.”
“She’s not wrong,” Peyton adds, reaching over to take Kyan from Letty’s arms when he begins to get restless. It’s late, and the poor little guy looks like he’s about to pass out.
We stand there watching the teams as they soak up the atmosphere, celebrate their win and mourn their loss. But it doesn’t matter how many bodies walk around that field; my eyes only find one.
He shakes hands and bumps knuckles with Bulls players and coaching staff before celebrating with his own, and long before I’m ready, he disappears down the tunnel with the rest of the team.
With their beloved Saints gone, a calm ripples through the stadium.
“Well,” I say as Letty begins gathering Kyan’s things. “That was?—”
“Enlightening?” Peyton asks.
“Let’s get this boy into the car and we can dissect everything in detail while we watch the interviews and drink cocktails,” Letty says.
My stomach does a weird summersault at just the thought of seeing Colt on TV tonight.
Although, I guess it could be worse. It could be in person.
Kyan is out for the count before we even manage to get out of the Saints parking lot. My heart swells watching his eyelashes flicker and his lips move as he floats off into dreamland, hugging his Saints bear to his chest.
I know he’s too young to appreciate it, but one day, he’s going to be in that crowd and appreciate just how much of a legend his dad really is. I can’t even imagine how mind-blowing that will be.
Watching some of my best friends play and win is a rush, but someone you love, your hero, out there doing incredible things…I shake my head. I can’t even comprehend it.