Page 34 of Broken Saint
Years might have passed; we might be entirely different people, but I still want to do whatever I can to peel back his armor and finally discover what really makes him tick other than his two favorite things: football and fucking.
Finally, he breaks the silence and shatters the tension pressing in around us.
“Ella,” he breathes. “It’s so good to see you.”
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m on my feet, my drink discarded and my cell forgotten as I step forward. That tether I’ve always felt toward him pulls tight until I’m close enough that his freshly showered scent fills my nose and his sheer size overwhelms me in the best possible way.
As if he knows my intentions, his arms open and I step into his warm, solid chest before they wrap around me.
With him obliterating every single one of my senses, it takes everything in me to hold back my emotions. All I want to do is cling to him and sob. The familiarity of his scent, the security of his arms. The fondness with which I remember most of our time together, makes me want to latch onto him and never let go.
It’s unhealthy, I know that. But then this thing between us always has been. Why change things now just because we’re adults?
“You too,” I manage to force out, praying that he can’t hear the cracks in my voice.
“Hey,” he says, tucking his finger beneath my chin and forcing me to look up at him. “You okay?”
“Y-yeah,” I say, taking a big step back and ducking my head. I don’t lose his touch, though. The warmth of his giant hands stays on my upper arms.
I’m aware that the others are all watching us, and the last thing I want to do right now is break down.
Today has been…intense in some of the best ways, and I don’t want to ruin it. I don’t want to cry anymore. I just want to surround myself with my best friends and forget that anything else exists in the world. I want to celebrate the guys’ win and laugh like we used to.
I want to be the Ella I used to be. I want to find the happiness and the confidence I used to have. And being around them, despite how I look, how beaten down I am right now, I’m able to feel little sparks of hope that she’s still there.
“Steaks are ready. Who’s hungry?” Kane asks, shattering the moment.
Colt finally lets my arms drop, allowing coldness to rush in.
“Starving,” he growls, making Letty and Peyton laugh.
“There’s a surprise. I swear you three could eat an entire cow given the chance.”
“I’d give it a good go,” Colt says, pressing his hand into the small of my back to lead me back to the couch I was sitting on. Only this time when my ass hits the cushion, I quickly discover that I’m no longer on it alone because he lowers down right beside me, the warmth of his body seeping into mine.
Needing something to ground me, I reach for my drink and down what’s left of the potent margarita Peyton made us when we got back.
It’s my third…I think. Possibly my fourth. And probably the reason that I hugged Colt the second I saw him.
My cheeks burn up as I think about my actions.
Jesus, Ella. You’re so embarrassing.
“Another?” Peyton asks, appearing out of nowhere with a jug.
“Umm…”
“Of course. We’re celebrating. We’re living vicariously through you right now,” Colt winks, answering for me.
Peyton studies me for a second before I nod in agreement.
“Just like old times, huh? Colton Rogers trying to get me drunk,” I tease before slamming my lips together. “On second thought, I should probably stick with water.”
Colt chuckles beside me as Kane and Letty appear with plates loaded with food.
My mouth waters as I take a plate, trying to ignore the pull toward the man beside me as I attempt to counteract the alcohol rushing through my veins so that I can keep a straight head.
The conversation turns to tonight’s game and the guys talk through what feels like every second of it, dissecting the Bulls’ mistakes that allowed them the win they deserved before they start looking forward to Sunday’s game against the Chiefs.