Page 43 of Broken Saint

I regret the words the second they tumble from my lips. And even more so when he tenses.

He turns to me, and I swallow nervously, wishing the ground would just swallow me up for that stupid comment.

“No one has been up here with me before. Only…only her.”

His eyes search mine as he silently begs me to understand just how big this moment is between us. Him sharing something about his past, about who he really is. Or at least, that’s what I want to hope.

“There hasn’t been anyone else in a while,” he confesses as he lies back, pulling his hand from beneath mine and breaking our connection.

Following his lead, I lie beside him and stare up at the dark night sky. A handful of stars twinkle back at us.

“Things have been weird recently,” he murmurs. “I’m not sure why. I don’t even think there is a why.”

He twists to look at me. His attention makes the left side of my face burn, but I stay firmly gazing up at the stars.

“Is it everything you thought it would be?” I ask, diverting from that comment a little.

It takes him a few seconds, but he finally responds. “Yeah. Well, no. It’s better, actually. Being here with the guys, doing the thing we always dreamed about. It’s everything.”

“I’m glad. You deserve it after how hard you’ve worked.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Ex-fiancé aside, is life everything you thought it would be?”

I can’t help but laugh.

He turns onto his side, his stare becoming even more intense.

But I still don’t cave. I keep my eyes locked on one star above me and let some honesty slip past my lips.

12

COLTON

My heart races as I stare at her profile, waiting for her answer.

When I walked away from her, it was with the hope that she’d be happy. That she’d embark on a life, find a man that she deserves.

But looking into her eyes tonight, I realize that it might have all been wishful thinking. And it makes me wonder if I made a massive mistake.

No, a little voice pipes up.You did the right thing. You’ll only poison her in your own fucked-up way. You’re nowhere near what she deserves either.

“No,” she finally whispers. “Nothing is like I thought it would be.”

“Ella,” I breathe, shifting a little closer, the need to feel the heat of her skin burning into mine too strong to ignore.

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around her ribs as if they’ll help keep her together. And when she speaks again, her voice is cracked with emotion.

“Everything was fucked before I even left Maddison County after graduation.”

Guilt rushes through me.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I whisper, hating that I could be even a small part of the reason for her sadness.

“It wasn’t you. I was fully on the same page when we ended things.”