Page 84 of Broken Saint

She laughs. “Just sit back, relax, and let us take care of everything.”

I do as she says and rest my head back, watching as Seattle rolls past outside the window and Kyan babbles away in the back seat.

A smile tugs at my lips. For the first time in a very long time, I actually am relaxed. I’m not worried about what’ll happen or what demands Chad will make when he gets home. I’m not concerned about money—although I probably should be—and I’m not scared about my friends’ opinions about my fucked-up life because, as I should have known, they’re fucking awesome.

Stupid anxiety. I should have trusted our friendship, our connection. Because they’re not just friends. Letty is right. They’re my family. And they’re everything I need right now.

“About freaking time,” Peyton says, climbing into the back. “Hey, little man. You’re looking handsome today.”

“Just like his daddy,” Letty adds.

“Nah, they’re at the gym. They’re all sweaty and gross,” Peyton teases.

“Gross, yes. So gross,” Letty agrees.

“I know, right? Yuck.”

I glance at both of them, knowing exactly what I’ll find. Faraway looks as they think about their men.

“You two are a nightmare,” I tease.

“Oh, because you aren’t thinking about Colt’s body right now.” Letty laughs.

“All those muscles covered in a glittering sheen of sweat,” Peyton adds, her voice all dream-like.

All the air rushes out of my lungs as I picture it.

“Yeah, see? You’re not better than us, Miss Myers, so please stop trying to take the high road.”

“Do you know how many times they did it last night?” Letty announces happily.

“Let, your child is right here,” I point out.

“He’s one. Pretty sure he has no clue what we’re talking about right now.”

“Fine. In that case, it wasn’t just last night,” I inform Peyton.

“Oh my god,” she squeals like an excited little kid. “Was it everything you remembered?”

“And some. I didn’t think it was possible. But he was better.”

“It’s probably all the practice he’s had.”

“Pey, the fuck?” Letty barks.

“She’s not wrong.” I laugh, trying to force down any jealousy that wants to bubble up.

“As long as he locks it down and only focuses on El now, then we’re all good, right?”

“Right,” Letty agrees.

“You make it sound like we’re a done deal. We hooked up once after years of not seeing each other,” I say, desperately trying to remain cool-headed about this.

He said so many things both last night and this morning that could lead me to believe he’s changed, that his intentions are different from all the times before. But I can’t allow myself to be blinded by that. It was post-sex talk. His thoughts had been zapped by oxytocin. There was no way he was fully aware of what he was saying.

“You’ve always been it for him, El,” Peyton says, making my heart beat a little faster. “He’s just always been too big a pussy to see it.”

Silence falls around the car, and I take a moment to just think.