Page 109 of Wyatt

Of course Mom didn’t hurt or leave me on purpose. Rationally, I know this. But her death rewired a part of my monkey brain, and somehow, I’ve ended up with the misbelief that love inevitably equals pain. It equals losing years to the darkness of grief.

Love and darkness—they’ve been a package deal for as long as I can remember.

But Sally? She’s not leaving.

She stays in my lap, and she listens. By the time I’m finished talking, she’s running her fingers through my hair, and then she’s drawing soft circles with her fingertip on my chest.

Little reminders that she’sstill here.

“You should run,” I murmur into her hair. “That was…a lot.”

“I’d rather stay.”

“If you insist.”

She laughs, a pretty, feminine sound I feel inside my rib cage. Then she sits up and does that thing where she looks me in the eye, her expression soft, gaze softer. “I admire the hell out of you, you know that?”

My heart dips. “Say more.”

Another laugh. “How do you feel? After getting all that out?”

I suck in a lungful of air, tinged with the smell of the dying fire. “Lighter? Empty, but in a good way?”

“And how did you feel before?”

Swallowing, I think on that for a minute. “Too…full.”

“You were scared to let it out. You’ve been scared for a while, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“But tonight, you decided you were going to let it out anyway. I think that’s one hell of an accomplishment.”

“Me crying is an accomplishment?” I smile though as I say the words.

“Totally. Cowboys cry, too, especially when they talk about their feelings.”

I scoff. “I feel like we’re always talking to Ella about how it’s okay to have big feelings. Sometimes, I think adults aren’t much better at handling that shit than kids are.”

A flicker moves across Sally’s eyes. The energy between us shifts. Takes on an edge of heat.

“What?” I run my hand up the side of her thigh.

“Self-awareness. It just might be the sexiest thing about you, Wy.”

I glance at the table. “Are we done with dinner?”

Sally digs her teeth into her bottom lip. “We’re done with dinner.”

“C’mon then.” Slipping an arm underneath her knees, I slide my other arm down her back and cradle her against me. “How you’re still attracted to me after I babbled on like that, I don’t know, but?—”

“Are you kidding?” Sally’s turn to scoff. “Take off my pants and see just how attractive I find your courage. Your honesty. Your way with mashed potatoes.”

I’m always laughing with this woman. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Arms around my neck. I’m taking you to bed, Sunshine.”