Page 106 of Ruined

“What was your earliest sign?” I asked.

“Besides sneaking glances at the older guys in the neighborhood whenever they took their shirts off to fix a car?” He laughed, running a hand through his damp hair. “There was this kid in my class. Ricky. Freckles, big smile. Everyone liked him. One day in gym class, he put his arm around me when we were picking teams. Just slung it there like it was nothing. I couldn’t breathe. My face was red as hell the entire period, and everyone thought I was hot from running laps.”

I stared at him, a strange warmth unfurling in my chest. Dominic wasn’t someone who gave up his history easily, but when he did, it felt like opening a vault.

“And Ricky? Did he know?”

Dominic’s smirk faltered. “Nah. He probably thought I was a weird kid.”

I dried off in silence. I could easily imagine feeling something so simple and innocent, and have it turn into something terrifying because the world wouldn’t let it benormal.

“What about you?” he asked. “Didn’t you ever wonder?”

My stomach clenched. “I couldn’t let my thoughts go there. That’s a good way to get killed. Guys who even looked the wrong way got their faces smashed in. I kept my head down.”

“But you thought about it.”

“Not really.” I caught his raised eyebrow and sighed. “Okay, maybe. Fuck, I don’t know. I’d look at ripped guys in the gym and tell myself it was motivation. Like, ‘Hey, if you stare at this dude’s six-pack long enough, maybe you’ll stop looking like a string bean.’”

“Sure,” he chuckled. “Purely motivational.”

“I was eighteen. It made sense in my head.”

Dominic hung his towel to dry. “What about staring at a guy’s ass?”

“That was figuring out how jeans are supposed to fit.”

He grinned. “Very practical.”

I let out a shaky breath. “After I had sex with you, I couldn’t rationalize it anymore. Now I don’t recognize myself. Every lie I told myself is unraveling, and I don’t know what the hell’s underneath.”

“Sometimes you have to tear it all down to build something better.” Dominic took my hand. “We should go on a date. I’d love to take you out.”

My gut twisted. “Like outside?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

I couldn’t be in public with a man without looking over my shoulder every five seconds. “Where would we go?”

“Anywhere you want, sweetheart. A nice dinner, a quiet bar, hell, we could walk through the city. Doesn’t have to be complicated.”

The simplicity of it almost knocked me sideways, like taking me out was the most natural thing in the world. My throat went dry.

“Dom, I can’t?—”

“Youcan,” he said firmly. “And I’m not asking you to march down the street holding my hand like we’re in a rom-com. I’m asking you to let yourself haveone thingthat makes you happy. Just one.”

I swallowed hard. “We’ll see.”

Dominic’s smile lingered, but he didn’t push me. He stepped into the bedroom to grab clothes. I trailed after him. Watching him dress felt strangely intimate. He buttoned his shirt, rolling up the sleeves to show off his forearms.

“Where are you headed?”

Dominic straightened his collar. “Meeting with my lawyer. I need to finalize some estate documents. Then I’ve got to stop by the casino. Check on the books.”

I shifted my weight. “I’ll go with you.”

Dominic shook his head, grabbing his watch off the nightstand and snapping it on. “You need rest.”