Page 138 of Ruined

A chair creaked.

I cracked an eye open.

He was there, sitting beside the bed like he’d been keeping vigil the whole night. His tie was loose, shirt rumpled—he looked likehe’d been through hell. His hazel eyes flicked up and locked onto mine, and I swore I stopped breathing.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly.

I licked my dry lips. “Hey.”

Dominic leaned forward. “Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

I winced. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t mean to? You stood there andletthat bastard hit you, Luca. You didn’t block. You didn’t swing back. You just—” He stopped, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Why?”

“I…I needed it to stop.”

Dominic’s voice softened. “What did you need to stop?”

“The guilt,” I whispered. “I’ve been carrying it for so long, Dom. I thought if I could… punish myself, it’d go away.”

He froze. “What guilt?”

I laughed bitterly. “When the Bratva took me, they locked me in a room. Four walls, no windows. Just me and my own goddamn breathing. I was a kid, Dom. I didn’t understand what was happening. I thought they’d kill me. Some days Iwantedthem to.”

Dominic didn’t move, didn’t speak, but the tension rolling off him filled the room. I kept going.

“There was this guy. Yuri. He was kind to me—one of the only ones. He tried to make it bearable. He’d sneak me food. Books. He’d find reasons to let me out of that room—said the floorneeded cleaning or something stupid like that. I didn’t get it then, but he was trying to help me.”

Dominic’s jaw tightened. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. He never touched me. But one day, I saw him kissing another man. I didn’t think it mattered. When they questioned me, I told them what I saw. I thought—” My voice broke. “I thought if I gave them what they wanted, they’d stop hurting me.”

Dominic paled.

“They made an example of him. They tied him to a chair and took turns breaking his fingers. They laughed while they did it, said it was a cleansing. Then they…” My breath caught in my throat. “They burned him alive. And they made me watch.”

“Jesus,” Dominic whispered.

Tears streaked down my face. “He kept looking at me, Dom. Like he was askingwhy. I didn’t know they’d kill him, but they did. And it was my fault. I got him killed.”

Dominic moved closer, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“You asked me why I push people away. Why I keep acting like an asshole. I can’t be around gay men without remembering. I see Yuri’s face. I hear his screams. I thought if I acted the way they wanted, I wouldn’t end up like him.”

Dominic sat there, the weight of my confession filling the silence. “You were a kid. They manipulated you, Luca. What happened to Yuri… that’s onthem, not you.”

“He was the only good thing in that hellhole, and I got him killed. I’m fucking broken, Dom. And I’m terrified. I’m scared that ifyousee the real me, you’ll hate me.”

Dominic’s fingers brushed my cheek. “I could never hate you. Do you hear me?Never. If anything, I love you more now.”

“You do?”

“I love you, Luca.” His thumb wiped the tears from my face. “All of you. Even the parts you’re afraid to show me.”

I closed my eyes. “I’m not good enough for you.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me.”