Page 55 of Ruined
I kept my eyes on the floor. “We shouldn’t have done this.”
Dominic sighed. “Luca, it’s not a big deal. Everybody catches a dick once in a while?—”
“What the fuck are you talking about?I’m supposed to brush this off like it’s a normal thing?”
“It is normal, you asshole.” Dominic grabbed his boxers, pulling them over his legs. “It’s not like we killed someone.”
I threw the paper towels away and yanked on my sweatpants. I sank into a kitchen chair as Dominic hovered above me, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
“This…this isn’t who I am.”
Dominic ran a hand over his face. “You like men. That doesn’t mean your whole life is falling apart.”
I shook my head. “You can shrug it off, but I can’t!”
Dominic’s jaw clenched. “You’re being dramatic.”
“I’m being dramatic?”
“Yeah. We kissed, we touched each other, and it was intense. But it’s part of who you are, and maybe it’s time you grow up.”
I didn’t want to want him, but I couldn’t stop myself. The pressure in my chest grew unbearable. My hand connected with a coffee mug, sending it crashing to the floor. The sound of shattering ceramic filled the room as I sank to the ground, gripping my hair.
“Dom, you need to get out.”
He crossed his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I want you to leave.”
“I don’t give a damn.”
I looked up at him, my eyes burning. “Please. I can’t deal with this right now.”
Dominic let out a harsh breath. “You think Iwantto be here? I’ve been through too much crap to deal with a closet queen losing his mind over a goddamned hand job!”
“I’m not closeted!”
He looked like he wanted to punch me. He turned on his heel, storming outside, and slammed the door behind him.
FOURTEEN
DOMINIC
Luca spent the next few days avoiding me.
He drank lots of coffee and did one-armed push-ups until he collapsed. I threatened to duct-tape him to a chair to make him stop. The moron almost tore open his stitches because of ahand job.
Why do you care?
It wasn’t because he was reckless or so goddamn beautiful when he got that defiant look in his eyes. I cared because he made me feel something I hadn’t in years.
I should’ve written him off after that meltdown, but Ilikedhim. The guy had crows as pets. Like some fucked-up Disney prince. Every morning, he went out to the yard with a handful of scraps, and they swooped down. Sometimes he whispered to them. It was cute.
I liked that he was nice to his neighbor. He hauled Mrs. Peretti’s mail up the stairs and gave it to her every single day. She talked his ear off about her garden, but he never cut her off. He did theright thing, quietly, when no one was watching. Not to feel good about himself. He justdid it.
I liked that.
People like Luca didn’t take. They gave, even when it cost them. I’d spent so long hiding anything soft that I craved that quality in someone else. Barbed wire wrapped around glass. That’s what he was. He cut everyone who got too close, but underneath was something worth protecting. I wanted to be the one to keep him safe.