Page 57 of Ruined

“She’s nice, but…I can’t.”

“Then why keep calling her?”

He exhaled hard. “Because it’s easier than dealing with this.”

“This?”

He swallowed hard. “The way you make me feel.”

“The way I make you feel?”

“Yeah.” He looked like he wanted to tear himself apart. “You drive me fucking insane. You make me hate myself, and then—then you make me want things I shouldn’t want.”

My chest tightened like I couldn’t get enough air. He had no idea what he did to me. He didn’t know how it felt to see him every day and fight the urge to pull him closer. I wanted to take his pain and crush it in my fists.

I stepped closer. “You think I’d still be here if I didn’t care?”

Luca blinked.

My hand cupped his jaw. “I don’t waste my time on guys I don’t want.”

He didn’t pull away.

I closed the distance, my lips brushing his. He let me kiss him. His body tensed, then he softened.

I kissed him deeper, pouring everything I couldn’t say into that kiss. The frustration. The endless fuckingneedeating at me.

His hand came up, gripping my arm, not pushing me away, but holding on like he didn’t want to let go. His mouth opened beneath mine, his tongue brushing mine with hesitant strokes. I groaned, sliding my other hand to the back of his head, threading my fingers through his hair.

His lips were soft, and his breath hitched when I sucked on his bottom lip. I nipped it gently, drawing out the sound I wanted—the broken whimper he tried to swallow.Jesus.The noise made heat coil low in my gut.

I pulled him closer, my palm sliding down his chest. I brushed the waistband of his sweats. His whole body jolted like I’d burned him, but his hips shifted toward me. Luca made another sexy noise. My palm brushed over his hard cock. I felt down the shaft.

I broke apart from him. “Say it, Luca. Tell me you want me.”

Luca stared at me, his pupils blown wide. He looked confused and so fucking beautiful, and it hurt.

“I…want you,” he choked out.

That broke me. I kissed him again, my tongue plunging into his mouth. He melted into me, his fingers digging into myarms. I caught his tongue between my teeth, sucking lightly. He whimpered into my mouth, the sound sending a sharp jolt through me. My hand moved back down, stroking him through his sweats. Jesus, he was so hard. I pulled back just enough to look at him again. I drank in his dazed, almost drunken expression, his swollen lips, the way he leaned into me.

“You’re so sexy when you’re desperate for me.”

“Shut up,” he growled.

“Make me.”

Luca crashed into me, shoving me back on the couch. His mouth was on mine—rough, no finesse. His teeth caught on my lip. His tongue shoved into my mouth. I groaned into it, grabbing his hips and dragging him closer until he was grinding me.

A key scraped the front door lock.

Luca sprang away from me. He shoved himself off me and sat upright. Then he grabbed a pillow and stuffed it over his lap.

The front door swung open, and a voice called out.

“Hey, it’s Sonny.”

Santino walked in with a bag of groceries. Shit. I’d forgotten that he had a key to Luca’s apartment. He set the bag on the kitchen table and strolled into the living room.