Page 37 of Devil's Thirst
“Doesn’t mean you need to be at his place,alonewith him. You have no idea what he might try.”
“I’m alone with you, and I’ve known him a lot longer than you,” I point out, dumbfounded. It never even entered my mind to think of Andrey as a threat. “Hell, I even know his last name.”
“You’re really fucking hung up on names, you know that?”
“No, Isaac. I’m hung up on not getting involved in a toxic relationship. You and me? We make each other crazy. It’s too intense.” I look at him pleadingly, begging him to understand. To see the insanity and not to make this any harder than it already is. “This isn’t going to work.”
His jaw muscles flex and strain. “It isn’t going to work, or you’re too scared to try? Because the only issue I see is a scared little girl who’s looking for every excuse she can find to run from the one person putting her first.”
His words sting more than a vicious slap across the face.
The shock winds me so thoroughly that I have no rebuttal. I’m speechless.
When the elevator doors open behind me, I walk blankly inside and press the button for the third floor. Isaac makes no move to follow me. I’m relieved. I’m devastated. I feel everything and nothing at once, and like opposite sound waves canceling each other out, an eerie numbness descends.
I meet Isaac’s piercing stare as the elevator doors close between us.
His eyes sayyou’re running again.
I know mine are blank, but a tiny voice cries from down deep in my soul.
Please, don’t give up on me.
The elevator deposits me on the third floor. I walk to my apartment in a daze. Once inside, I drop into a chair at my dining table and let my eyes lose focus as they stare out the window at the horizon.
Isaac’s parting words slowly filter back into my mind.
Scared little girl.
I am scared, but is that so wrong? I have good reason to be.
But what if he’s right? What if I’m letting my fear keep me from ever finding happiness?
You have dancing to bring you happiness, remember?
Yeah, but dance doesn’t keep me from being lonely. And I’m so incredibly tired of feeling alone.
My fingers absently wipe at the tear trickling down my cheek. I drop my gaze to my hands and notice a folded piece of paper in the middle of the table.
I don’t remember leaving anything there.
Curious, I reach for the paper and see it’s a small notecard the size of a thank-you note, but the front is blank. Two sentences are handwritten on the inside in all caps. When I read them, my stomach plummets to the floor, and the sobs threatening to consume me finally gain the upper hand. I lay my head in my hands, and I cry. And cry.
I know you spoke to the police.
Do you need another lesson?
CHAPTER 19
AMELIE
I walkthrough the next four days on autopilot. No word from Isaac. After days and days of near-constant run-ins, it’s like he’s fallen off the face of the earth. Gone.
I should be relieved. His absence means I can focus on bigger problems like the note left on my table. Except I can’t seem to summon the appropriate fear to manufacture a response.
All I feel is hollow. Gutted and empty.
For weeks, I’ve tried to make smart choices and keep my focus on what’s most important—protecting my family. So long as my family is healthy and happy, I’ve been able to be sufficiently happy, but it’s not working anymore. Every choice I make seems to drag me further into this wretched pit. Now that I sit at the bottom, I can’t see a way to claw myself out.