Page 26 of Texas Kissing

There’s nothing in the world like a Texas sunset. I’d watched them all my life and I still wasn’t tired of them.

But I didn’t watch it; I watched her.

I watched as the golden light streamed through her blouse and showed me the faint outline of her body. I watched as a light breeze picked up and molded the fabric to her breasts. I watched the sun paint her hair with bronze and copper and I held my breath as the wind played with strands of her silken hair.

“It’s beautiful,” she said as the sun sank below the horizon.

It’s the second most beautiful thing I’ve seen tonight.I wanted to say it so much my damn chest ached.

But I couldn’t, even though it was true. It’d sound like I was teasing her again or, if she realized I was serious...I’d have no idea what the fuck to say next. I’ve never been any good with words, except when I’m kidding around. That’s what I am—whoI am.

I’m called Bull, for Chrissakes. What do you want?

So instead, I pulled out my phone. “Let me take apicture of you,” I said.

She twisted around to look at me. “What? Why?”

“So I have something to come up on the screen when you call me.”

“Who says I’m going to call you?”

I sighed. “To remember you by, then.” I nodded at the sun. The last sliver of it was just disappearing. “C’mon, it’ll look great - you on a horse, the sunset behind you—”

She shook her head. “I don’t like people taking photos of me.”

“Why?”

She didn’t answer, just tossed the reins. Caliope started the long walk home.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket, annoyed. Was this because she was a little bigger than other girls? She seemedself-conscious about her size...but this felt like something more. She’d looked almost scared.

She barely spoke as we rode home. The sky darkened to blue and then to black and a thousand pinpricks of light started to appear overhead. But my eyes were firmly fixed on Lily as she rode ahead of me. My frustration started to build. There’d been so manyalmosts,that afternoon, so many moments when something had nearly happened...but she’d backed away at the last moment.

Well, no more. I’d tried taking it slowly.

When we got back to the stables, playtime was over.

21

Lily

I was getting usedto the horse. Part of me was wondering,what was I ever scared of?

And part of me was wondering that about Bull, as well. I’d seen another side to him. One that went beyond the teasing and cocky arrogance. One that I liked.

For a moment, when we’d been watching the sunset side by side, I’d had the overwhelming urge to stretch my hand out towards him to see if he’d take it. And then….

And then what? Suddenly, the past rose up out of the blackness to meet me and all of my childish, happy dreams were rammed aside.And then he’d kiss me and it would be cherry blossoms and fireflies? Is that what you thought?

I closed my eyes for a moment and cursed myself for being a selfish bitch. I’d been dangerously close to making an awful mistake. Jesus, we hadn’t even kissed yet and already he wanted to take my picture! What secrets would he find out in a day or a week or amonth? And even if I could keep him oblivious to my past and my work, that didn’t put him in any less danger. Just being with me meant that, one day, he could wind up like Annette.

The memories came swimming back. Her eyes. Those beautiful cornflower blue eyes, pleading with me—

I gripped the reins harder, trying to control my breathing.One one thousand.

The pills rolling around in her mouth—

My vision swam with tears.Two one thousand.