Page 38 of Texas Kissing

I stared at her. And then hugged her, which knocked the table and sloshed tea over my jeans. “Goddamnit!” Luckily, I found a napkin in my pocket so I mopped up the worst of it with that.

I spent the whole afternoon with her, then slipped into Mr. Hanwell’s room for a quick game of checkers before I left. On the flight back to Texas, I turned it over and over in my mind. By the time the wheels hit the tarmac, I’d made a decision: I was going to go and see Bull.Notto carry it on. I couldn’t. That would be dangerous for both of us. I’d just apologize and that would be it. I figured that seeing him again, just for afew minutes, would scratch my Bull-itch. It would be, I thought, like giving an addict a carefully measured dose to help them gradually kick the habit.

I hadn’t realized just how helplessly addicted I was.

30

Lily

“Y’all be taking out?” asked the smiling girl behind the counter. Even Starbucks was different, this far south.

“Yep,” I said. What would he like? What was safe? “Can I get an iced latte with extra ice?”

“Tall? Grande?”

I thought about Bull for a second. “Venti. Definitely Venti.”

“Whipped cream?”

“Probably not.”

I told her my name and went to wait at the end of the counter. He’d like an iced latte, right? Everyone liked an iced latte, on a hot day. Even if it showed up unexpectedly.

A half hour later, with the latte still relatively cold, I pulled up outside the ranch. It was mid-morning, which was deliberate. I wanted him to be busy and have to run back to work—that way, there’d be no waythat things could get out of control.

One of the ranch hands directed me to a barn—a huge, old-fashioned one of red-painted wood, piled high with hay bales. When I peeked through the door, I saw Bull stripped to the waist, heaving hay bales around.Doesn’t he ever wear a shirt?

I didn’t speak, didn’t move. I just stood there silently watching him for a moment, taking in the rippling muscles of his back and the solid mass of his biceps. Everything about him was...physical.Real. The opposite of my own world of electrons and secrets.

Then I saw him freeze, like an animal catching a scent on the breeze. He turned slowly to face me and I ducked halfway back behind the door. When he saw me, we just stood there staring at each other for a few seconds.

“Hi.” My voice quavered. “Um. I came to apologize.”

He tossed the hay bale aside as if it weighed nothing and strode towards me.

“I shouldn’t have blown up at you,” I said, and looked at the ground.

He put a finger under my chin and gently lifted my head so that I was looking up at him. I braced myself for something raw and coarse, some crack about how he wanted to fuck me.

“I’m sorry, too,” he muttered.

I just stood there in shock.

“I guess I didn’t expect...all that,” he said. “But that don’t mean it ain’t...impressive. Hell of a lot more impressive than roping steers and riding bulls. And better paid, that’s for goddamn sure.”

Had he just...apologized? Bull?The groundseemed to be slipping away from under my feet.

“I’m still mad at you,” he said. “Because I’m worried you’ll get yourself killed.”

Someone was worried about me? The shock of it was matched by how good it felt. The ground was gone completely, now. I was floating, helpless.

And then I remembered my plan. I had to turn away and leave, now.

I offered up the Starbucks cup. “I brought you an iced latte,” I said, holding it out. My hand shook a little.

“Did you?”

“Um...yep.”