Page 1 of Covert Operation
ONE
SAVANNAH
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TEN. NINE. EIGHT. Seven.
I hold my breath, a mixture of dread and hope swirling in my gut as the numbers count down on the wide screen TV in front of me. Six months ago I made myself a promise. And in seven seconds it will be time to either step up and be brave, or continue wallowing in the tub of shame and fear where I’ve been marinating for nearly a year.
And the water’s getting real cold.
Six. Five.
The twist in my stomach pulls tighter, so I down the last of the champagne in my flute, hoping it might offer a little liquid courage. Lord knows I’m gonna need it. I force myself to my feet, pushing up from the huge sofa in the rooming house of Alaskan Security before smoothing out the floral fabric of my dress. As I expect, my sister Sadie quickly turns my way, concern pinching her expression.
I offer a quick smile, hoping it will keep her from insisting on following me. I’m pretty sure it won’t, but it’s worth a shot. “All that champagne ran right through me. I’m going to run to the bathroom.”
As I expected, Sadie starts to get up, ready to serve as the protector she’s designated herself to be. “I’ll come with you.”
Backing away, I continue smiling. It’s a struggle, since my insides are being eaten alive by the sharp teeth of panic. “I’ll be fine. You stay here and get your New Year’s kiss from Jamison.” I keep moving, knowing I can’t slow down. Not only because I’m trying to keep my sister from catching up, but also because it might give me time to rethink my plan.
Or worse, talk myself out of it.
Sadie continues frowning at me, looking as uncertain as I feel. “You sure?”
Before I can reassure either of us, the ball drops into place, signifying the start of the new year. The year I promised myself would be different.
The chaos it unleashes offers a welcome distraction and I take full advantage, turning to rush from the room as soon as my sister glances away.
No one else notices me go. Not a single set of eyes comes my way as I dodge the celebrating couples and kids. It’s not surprising. Most people don’t notice me. Technically, that’s by design.
I don’t want to be seen. Don’t want to worry who might be watching me or what the motives are behind their attention. No one from Alaskan Security would hurt me, I know that. But the fear I’ve been fighting since being abducted by the man tryingto force my sister to help him smuggle weapons and drugs into Russia, isn’t always rational. It doesn’t have reasonable limits or thought-out boundaries. It simply is.
And it’s consumed my life. Narrowed my whole world down to a tiny, microscopic pinpoint. That’s why I made myself the promise I did. Because I don’t want to live this way anymore.
The problem is, I don’t know how tonotlive this way. That’s why, while everyone else toasts and cheers in the new year, I rush down the tunnel connecting the rooming house to the main offices. Tonight, in a shocking turn of the tables, I’m the one doing the hunting. The one with motives and plans.
It’s not as liberating as I’d hoped. It’s just as terrifying as everything else in this world and has my heart racing and my stomach lurching. Not a good start to this new way of living I’m hoping to attain.
I continue on anyway, determined to ignore the biting need to abandon ship and return to the normal I’ve created. It’s safe there. Quiet and calm. It’s also isolated and lonely and has left me in a vicious cycle where fear destroys my hope then hope overwhelms my fear. Round and round they’ve gone for months now, and I have to get off the ride before I get stuck on it forever.
The office building is quiet as I hurry through, tiptoeing across the tile of the glassed-in entryway so my suede ankle boots don’t make a sound. I don’t want anyone else to know what I’m doing—with one exception, I suppose—just in case I fail. And I’m pretty sure I might fail.
I’ve never been brave like my sister. Never been one to take on the world. I don’t expect that to change, but I’d at least liketo reclaim a tiny bit of what was stolen from me. And I know exactly who can help me with that.
If I can find him.
My feet stall out. What if he’s not here? What if he was tired and went to bed? Had other plans? What if he’s changed his schedule since I moved off campus? What if tonight he isn’t where he always used to be? I’m not sure I’ll be able to work up the bravery to attempt this a second time, and the realization sits heavy in my rolling gut.
It also gets my feet moving again.
Walking even faster, I do my best not to think too much as I turn down the hall leading to the last connected building—the one I was brought to after being rescued from the man who changed me forever.
The antiseptic scent lingering in the air threatens to pull me back to that time, so I focus on the other smells permeating the block-walled space. Sweat. Rubber. The slightly chemical tang of the fog machines they use in the tactical arena. None of them are particularly pleasant, but they all help keep me in the now instead of sliding away to places I don’t want to go.
Slowing down, I creep toward the door of the on-site gym where my sister and Jamison spend a large chunk of their time. It’s a daunting space for me, but not nearly as intimidating as the lone man currently occupying it.
I let out a breath at the sight of him, relieved he’s still just as much a creature of habit as he used to be. I could set my watch by Zeke. The head of Shadow—Alaskan Security’s most secretive team—is up every day at five. Gets his first cup of coffee at five-thirty and is in his office by five-forty. He eats lunch at eleven and dinner at five.