Page 55 of Forbidden Dreams
He moves his horse beside me, and I keep my eyes ahead until his horse is in front of mine, giving me no choice but to look at him. “I said to look at me.”
“I said no,” I repeat.
“You didn’t give me a chance to finish,” he explains, and I grip the reins in my hand even tighter.
“I don’t think there is anything more to finish.”
“I will never forgive myself for feeling that.”
“It’s fine, Brady.” I try to let him off the hook and show him how much it doesn’t bother me. “I get it.”
“What do you get?” he snaps.
“I get that I was guilty by association,” I answer. “Can we just not talk about this anymore?”
“No,” he hisses, “we are going to talk about this, goddammit, because it’s important for me to tell you how wrong I’ve been.”
“Okay, fine.” I smile at him forcefully. “You get it.”
“Not fucking fine.” His eyes bore into mine, and I tell myself not to cry. “It’s the opposite of fucking fine. I was wrong, Harmony. I was so wrong about you.”
“I guess it makes two of us,” I say, knowing what I feel for him is something I haven’t felt before. I guarded my heart for the past ten years, not letting anyone else in, and in two weeks, he’s snuck in there, and I don’t know what to do about it.
“You are not the person that I painted in my head. You are kind and generous. You are the best mom. You are loving.” He starts to fumble his words, making the sting of his words lessen but not by much. “You are funny and hardworking and Jesus you are just everything.” I can feel the tears coming but this time it’s not because he sort of hated me, but because his voice is now sounding like he’s broken. “Baby”—his voice is broken—“I’m going to make it up to you.”
“There is no need for that, Brady. You’ve done more than anyone I’ve ever known has done.” I watch the anguish on his face. “So between us, we’re even.”
CHAPTER 31
Brady
I sit on my horse facing her, making sure she can’t go anywhere and making sure she looks at me. “There is no need for that, Brady.” Her voice is strong yet sounds broken; her face ashen from the minute I told her I spent ten years hating her. The need to tell her how fucking wrong I’ve been sits like a burden on my shoulder. I don’t want to keep anything from her. I want her to know everything about me. I want to know everything about her. “You’ve done more than anyone I’ve ever known has done.” Her words are like a kick in the gut. “So between us, we’re even.”
Fuck this, I think to myself as I get off my horse and walk over to hers. I can see her body going tense as she flexes her hand on the reins. I should take a second to think, but the feelings of guilt and hurt run through me. Guilt that I felt that way, and I hurt for hurting her. “Get off your horse.” I stand beside the horse, wondering if she says no, how the fuck I’m going to yank her off the horse without scaring the animal. The last thing I want is to freak everyone out. “Please?”
“Brady,” she says, and it feels like I’m in an electric chair that sent a million watts through my body.
“Please,” I plead, and she moves her body and slides off the horse. My hands go to her hips to help her down halfway. I turn her to face me and put my hands to her cheeks to hold her there and make sure she looks me in the eyes. “I’m sorry I said what I said.” I have no idea what else is going to come out of my mouth. “I mean, I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.”
Her eyebrows pinch together. “Okay.”
“I mean, I’m sorry that it hurt you, but I’m not sorry I said it because it made me see how wrong I was. How wrong I fucking was, and there is no fucking way I could hate you. There is no way anyone could hate you if they were honored enough to get to know you. You are kind, funny, loyal, and the best mother I’ve ever met.” The bottom of her eyes fills with tears, and she quickly looks down, and I see her blinking furiously to probably stop the tears that are about to escape, hoping they don’t, but one lone tear escapes. “That is the last fucking tear you will ever have because of me.”
“It’s not you.” She of course tries to make me feel better. “It’s just been a crazy couple of days.” She looks up at me and tries to smile, but her smile is as fake as can be.
“Last fucking tear that rolls down your cheek because of me.” I bend my head to touch her mouth with mine. “I promise you.”
“I’ve learned it’s not good to make promises,” she says softly. “They are easily broken. Even by me. I promised Wyatt it would all be okay, and look at the mess we are in.”
“Well then, it’s time to show you how promises work,” I vow to her. “And by the way, you are way too hard on yourself. Wyatt is thriving, and he’s thriving because of you.” I kiss her one more time before I let my hand fall from her face. “Remember that.” She just nods at me. “Now, let’s get back on the horses and get back to the barn, yeah?”
“Okay.” She turns and puts her foot in the stirrup, and I take a second to check out her ass, wanting to lean in and bite it. My cock stirs in my pants as she sits said ass back down on the saddle.
I walk over to my horse, getting back on him before turning and making our way to the barn. She doesn’t say anything as we walk back, her head forward as she takes in the forest. “Are you tired, baby?” I break the silence.
“A little,” she replies softly, “but it’s worth it.” She smiles, and this time, it shines in her eyes. “It’s the calmest I’ve been in the past six months.”
“Then we’ll make sure that we do it more often,” I assure her as we return to the barn. Emmett is there by the fence with Wyatt behind him as he tells him something. He looks over at us and motions with his chin toward us. I can see Wyatt wants to start to run, but Emmett tells him something, and he nods.