Page 14 of Ransom

"Well, aren't you the cutest little minion!" she says to Mia, who beams up at her.

"Tick or teat!" Mia chirps, holding out her pumpkin basket.

Fuck, that's adorable.

The woman drops a handful of candy into Mia's basket, then looks up at the rest of us. "And look at all your... helpers! You boys sure know how to commit to a theme."

"Thank you," we answer politely. Colton even does this weird little bow.

As we turn to leave, the woman calls out to her husband. "Harold, you've got to see this!"

We make our way down the street, hitting house after house. At each stop, Mia's excitement grows, and so does the amusement of the homeowners. Some of them even ask to take pictures with us, like we're attractions at Disneyland, then pay us in treats of our own. I'm not hating it. My pockets are filled with candy bars, and suddenly I'm all in on Halloween. Free candy tastes a fuck of a lot better than the shit you buy yourself. Who knew?

"Uncle John, it's your turn!" Mia calls out, and I watch as John lumbers up to the next house with Mia. Well, he doesn'treally lumber, but he's still not thrilled about the fucking costume, so he's dragging his feet a little.

The door opens, and a kid dressed as a superhero answers. His jaw drops when he sees John. "Whoa! You're the biggest minion ever!"

John's face breaks into a rare smile. "Thanks, kid. This is my niece, Mia. She picked out my costume."

Mia nods proudly. "I did! He's the bestest, right?"

The kid's mom appears behind him, laughing as she takes in the scene. "He certainly is. Here, have some extra candy for bringing the best minions to the neighborhood."

John does a little wiggle and I wish I had my camera. He’ll deny he ever happy wiggled, and I wish I had proof to show him.

On a loop.

Over and over.

Projected on the two story wall of the apartment.

At every family gathering for the next year.

As we continue our rounds, I can't believe how easily Mia has us all wrapped around her little finger. She's got a bunch of grown men who've seen some serious shit in their lives, dressed up like cartoon characters and mostly loving every minute of it.

Cara sidles up to me, linking her arm through mine. "You know, for a bunch of tough guys, you all make pretty adorable minions."

I chuckle, watching as Declan helps Mia up some steep steps. "Yeah, well, what can I say? When Mia asks for something, we deliver."

"That's because you're all softies at heart," Bree chimes in, grinning at us.

"Only for her. And for you guys," I say. It's true, the women have made us softer in a way I never expected. Becca smirks at me, and I give her a glare. "But not you. You're a pain in my ass." As expected, her smile gets bigger. The woman is completelyunfazed by my attitude. At first, I was tough on her because I was protective. Kade has been through too much shit with women, so I didn’t trust his judgment, and by extension, her. But once I got to know her and saw how well she loves him, giving her shit just became entertainment for both of us.

"Oh hell no!"

We all glance up, finding Colton frozen on the sidewalk as Mia tries to tug him up the sidewalk. "Come on, Daddy. It's just make-believe."

He laughs, but there's a clear edge of hysteria in it. I’ve heard that tone from him before. "I know. I think I'll just wait here though. I think Jonas might want to go up with you this time. He's been begging for an extra turn."

Jonas, of course, doesn't disappoint. "No, I haven’t," he says, studying the lawn and the admittedly freaky display of a rat swarm eating a zombie. The rats don't look that real, but combined with the spooky music interspersed with screams, it's damn effective.

But Colton's not bothered by the effects. Nah, his phobia has fully taken over. I guess, logically, getting trapped in a sleeping bag with a mouse when you're a kid could be terrifying. But he's coming up on forty soon. You'd think he'd have this shit worked out.

"It is time to face your fears." Jonas looks over at John and gives him a nod. Like they fucking planned it, John grabs Colton from behind and perp-walks him toward the scene. Colton, clearly not ready to face his fucking fears, shrieks and sweeps John's leg. They end up on the grass, wrestling. Two six-and-a-half-foot-tall Minions cursing and rolling. Not their finest moment, but fuck, I'd pay money to see a show like this, and here it is, free, like the best gift ever.

"Oh dear," Janey says, muffling her laughter behind her hand. "Should we break them up?"

"Are you asking me to get down there and try and get between them? Do you think that's going to work? 'Cause I can tell you from personal experience, that's a good way to end up missing a tooth."