Page 43 of Colors and Curves
“Where’s your aunt now?”
“Aunt Marie died from kidney failure. She was diabetic and we couldn’t find a donor. So one after the other, the people we loved, died. Well, other than my father. I hated him.” He paused and shook his head. “But you know what’s horrible, Sky? I feel bad for saying that, even after all the suffering he put us through.”
“That’s because you have a heart. I see it in the way you take care of Daisy and Chance. I see it in how you act toward me. It’s still in there, no matter how hard you’ve tried to protect it and keep it from feeling more.”
This is major overload. My heart hurts for him. Emotions are pouring out of me through tears. I want to take all these memories away from him and give him the happiness and love he deserves. I can’t imagine the weight he’s carried all these years.
“I know some of this is confusing and I’ve jumbled it together. But this is me. This is why I am the way I am. I’ve been numb for years, but you’re bringing me back to life.” He stops, shaking his head.
“I don’t know if I was ever truly alive. I’ve wasted so much time because of the past. I keep it quiet because I don’t want to have to rehash it in interviews. I don’t want pity from anyone. It’s a private part of us, and Daisy doesn’t need to be exposed to that either.”
“You’re still trying to protect her.”
“I always will.”
I nod. “Of course. It’s who you are; it’s in your nature. I admire you. And look at how good you are with Chance.”
He laughs. “Two peas in a pod. Both broken but he still finds joy. I should learn from him.”
“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? Nothing you told me makes me want to run out the door. If anything, it’s made me want to be with you even more.”
A slow and real smile appears on his face. “How did I get so lucky?” He kisses a trail from my chest up to my ear. I squirm because it tickles from his peach fuzz.
“I should be asking that question. I’m sleeping with the hottest guy I know,andhe happens to be my favorite photographer. Nobody else could beat that.”
His smile spreads across his face. “Thank you for understanding and accepting who I am. I don’t understand why you’d want to be with someone who has so much baggage, but I’m glad you do.”
“Everybody has a history, just some of it’s worse than others. I can’t explain it—I just know in my heart that you’re who I want to be with.” I shrug. “When you know you know. Some things can’t be explained. I don’t ever want to see anguish like that in your eyes again. Let me make you happy. Giveusa chance.”
And right on cue, Chance begins to scratch at the bedroom door.
“Time to get up,” Julius says. He laughs and gets out of the bed, pulling me with him.
That laugh has become my favorite sound.
Chapter 22
Julius
The last weeks have blown right by. Skylar’s becoming a permanent fixture in my penthouse. Daisy gets along with her like she’s the sister she never had. They even hang out together when I’m not home. Daisy is amazed, and so am I, on how easily I’ve let Sky into my life.
The atmosphere in the house has shifted. She has transformed our place into a home filled with laughter, happiness, and hope—something Daisy and I haven’t had since Aunt Marie died. It took one person to make me hate my life when I was younger, and it took Skylar to make me love it now.
Daisy and I have had dinner a couple of times with Skylar’s family. I was hesitant at first, but Skylar was cool about it. It’s amazing how she understands and doesn’t push me to do anything I don’t want to. Some things I just need to take baby steps with, and that includes family situations and events.
To my surprise, we’ve always had a great time. Her brothers, Christian and Drew, are cool. They don’t drill me with questions or anything. From the stories they tell, it is easy to see that Jocelyn is the glue that keeps the family together. Skylar’s lucky to have such warm, loving people to rely on. They already treat Daisy and me like we’re part of their clan.
I have an interview with a magazine tomorrow morning. Daisy arranged it, but Skylar had to encourage me to do it. With her by my side, I feel like I can do anything. I’ve also agreed to attend the opening at the Mossi Krelo Gallery in February. It’s only August… I can’t think that far ahead, but Skylar says she’ll go with me.
We’re talking and planning things way in advance, something I haven’t done much of. It sinks in a little more each day that she’s not going anywhere. I guess I’m still a little insecure that she’ll disappear someday because I’ve fucked up.
Which gets me to thinking about my future with her. I can’t imagine being with another woman. I know I’m falling in love with her, but I haven’t told her that yet.
Falling in love… with her…
I never said that to anyone. But she’s aware of how much I care about her. Baby steps, even though we’re on the fast track.
Saturday is going to be a huge test. Jocelyn and Christian are having a big barbecue at their house. I’ll be meeting Skylar’s mom and stepfather along with tons of other people. Daisy’s coming too. She’ll be my anchor. She’s more social than I am. It’s like she said to me after the last time we were with Skylar’s family, maybe this is our chance to be a part of a big, happy family.